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Our ‘inner dialogue’ is backwards

The “Be-Do-Have” formula is often referred to in business and wealth-creation literature, and is usually one of the fundamental principles addressed in both personal and business coaching.

We all make choices every single day.

We make decisions (consciously or unconsciously) and take actions that we think will help us achieve our desired outcomes.

We think, “What do I need to Have so I can Do what I want and Become the person I want to be?”

This inner dialogue is backwards.

The principle starts with Be. Who do you need to Become in order to Do what is necessary to Have the things you want?

Everyone has an identity that has been developed over our lifetime. Our environment, culture, parents, siblings, school, friends, etc. were all recorded and are played back every day of our lives.

Unspoken messages, positive or negative, contribute to our identity and influence our behaviour.

Sometimes our identify creates invisible limitations.

Until you examine the concepts, chances are your beliefs regarding family, relationships, money, education, business and success have been inherited.

Visualize an iceberg moving through the water. Above the water line we see a person’s behaviour. This affects their decisions, actions and therefore their results.

What is visible on the water’s surface is just a fraction of what lies underneath. But just below the surface is an imposing mass, so huge that it steers the entire iceberg.

The unseen part is where Be exists. What steers us is a combination of our identity, plus our values and beliefs, and the skills we’ve learned, all surrounded in an environment of choice.

Most of us are totally unaware of what we’ve inherited from our background. Some may be relevant and useful to our well-being. Some may be totally irrelevant, out-dated, or even standing in our way.

It takes some courage to look at the influences under the surface that steer you.

Often, the first contributing factor to our behavior is our skill level. Ideally we should be doing things we’re good at and we enjoy.

Adding to one’s skill set — education and training — can radically change behaviors. What skills do you now possess, and what others do you need to acquire (become good at)?

Beliefs influence skills. A belief is something you hold true but isn’t necessarily accurate.

Any significant emotional event in our lives can wipe out even the strongest belief. Affirming what you truly believe and releasing the baggage you’ve carried with you over the years can be extremely powerful.

“I am” are the two most influential words in the English language. The only two that have more power are “I don’t” and “I can’t.”

Our brains can be trained to incorporate new “I am” statements. Discover and select your I am statements, either on your own or with help from a trusted friend or mentor. Be mindful that your brain is equally susceptible to old “I can’t” statements.

Take a hard look at your present environment. This is the water in which the iceberg exists.

Does it nurture you; is it positive and healthy? If it is toxic, change it. Discard blame, excuses and denial. Be a victor, not a victim.

Make one small goal, one step in the right direction. Small successes will empower you to move forward.

We can gradually chip away at outdated values and limiting beliefs. We can learn or improve new skills. No matter what age or stage in life, we can strengthen our identity to allow us to Be successful.

The Be-Do-Have principle demands personal awareness and a willingness to grow to achieve success. It takes courage to look at ourself first, to examine what we may need to Become in order to Do what is necessary to Have the life we deserve.

Quoting Brian Tracy: “Ongoing, continuous, non-stop personal development literally assures you that there is no limit to what you can accomplish.”

Using this basic principle of Be Do Have will ultimately influence personal and business performance.

ActionCoach is written by John MacKenzie of ActionCoach, which helps small- to medium-sized businesses and other organizations. He can be contacted at johnmackenzie@actioncoach.com or by phone at 403-340-0880.

 
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