“Feeling good about your life, but not expressing a heartfelt thank-you,
is like wrapping a gift for someone and never giving it to them.”
– Chip Conley, American hotelier, author, and speaker
I held open the restaurant door for three older women – each smiled and nodded as they passed by me. The third woman reached over and gently touched my arm.
“Your mother did a fine job raising you,” she said and winked.
“Thank you, ma’am,” I replied. “Thank you very much.”
(Those who know me will understand the reference.)
As far back as I can remember my mother had been a stickler for proper manners. As a child, I was encouraged to say please, thank you and excuse me while at the table, to hold the door for adults, to stand up when a “lady” entered the room and to firmly shake the hand of a “stranger” when introduced and say, “Pleased to meet you.”
Of all the teachings, she was most insistent upon the words “thank you.”
It has been a few years now since I began my journey of self-esteem building. As I began to strive and grow, I also started to look back over all the lessons I had learned and the people who had the most profound effect on my life. I thought about the people who had selflessly reached out a helping hand, the ones who had offered a kind word of encouragement and especially those who set a positive example through words and actions. You know, I even thought about the ones who pushed me hard to succeed – the ones I didn’t like much at the time and saw the value of only in retrospect.
I realized something else: that I hadn’t always been the most grateful person. I had taken so very much for granted. I decided to make amends. I decided to seek out those people who had made a difference and say thank-you. Initially, I sought out many of these individuals in person. Over time, this became more challenging as some had moved away while others had passed away. I began to write stories as a way to say thank you and, later, to reference many unique individuals in my weekly columns.
Are there people in your life who deserve a thank you?
I read a story sometime back about Reverend William Stidger – often referred to as evangelism’s first modern media star. Stidger was an American preacher famous on the radio in the 1930s and some claim the model for Sinclair Lewis’s Elmer Gantry.
Stidger told the story of a school teacher who inspired within him a lifelong passion for poetry. Wanting to thank her for the time and attention she provided him as a boy – the difference she made in his life – he decided to write her a thank-you letter.
To his delight, he received a reply a few weeks later. “My dear Willie,” began the letter. “I cannot tell you how much your note meant to me. I am in my 80s, living alone in a small room, cooking my own meals, lonely and, like the last leaf of autumn, lingering behind. You will be in¬terested to know that I taught school for 50 years and yours is the first note of appreciation I ever received. It came on a blue-cold morning, and it cheered me as nothing has in many years.”
Seldom moved to tears, Stidger claimed to have wept over the note. He wondered why he hadn’t written his school teacher sooner and why no-one else had said thank you to her? Whom do you need to thank? A parent, sibling, teacher or friend? Maybe the employer who gave you that first break or coach who pushed you hard to be better.
We all have someone who made a difference, positively shaped our lives, influenced us to dream big, to persist in a worthy goal, and to strive to be all we could be.
Express your gratitude. It’s not too late to say thank you.