The psychological side of unplanned kids
Isaac Newton that coined the theorem “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.”
It was all done in his study of physics, so I don’t think he imagined at first that it applies to all of life. So for all you physicists out there, I apologize, but then it’s not important for the sake of this article who, but rather, what, is what’s important.
If you hit a ball, it flies away from that impact in the opposite direction to what it was travelling when impacted. That’s physics.
Heavy consumption of alcohol for many years will result in the liver reacting in a negative manner as in rejecting the very process it was created to do.
Traumatic abuse for many years in childhood can lead to mental disorders such as schizophrenia, drug addictions, etc.
I think you can tell where I’m heading.
For every addiction, there is a help group set up to fight and overcome that problem, i.e.: Alcoholics Anonymous, NA, CA, gamblers groups, disorder societies, unplanned and unwanted pregnancy societies, and the list goes on.
None of these “problems” have a greater psychological effect than the two last ones, the unplanned and unwanted pregnancies.
As a matter of fact, pregnancy and child delivery are some of the most amazing, impactful, and emotional issues to deal with in life.
In some cases in an unplanned pregnancy, giving a child to adoption is the only viable choice, but it has serious emotional and psychological side effects that are not fully comprehended at the time.
Later on in life, the mother often deals with grief, loss and guilt.
The one never really talked about, of course, is the unwanted child. Society has chosen the disposal method called abortion or pregnancy termination.
I’m not bringing this up to debate the right or wrong of this method, just stating what is taking place.
So for many, this has become the method of choice, but as in the case of adoptions, I feel that the psychological long-term effects are very seldom discussed or understood.
At this point, you may want to throw this article in the trash and call me names, but ignoring the facts is to knowingly walk into quicksand.
I’m asking you to let me tell you what I have observed both at the kitchen and just in life generally regarding this matter.
The reasons for abortion are as varied as can be. Probably the most common reason is the pressure applied by parents or partner.
Then I would think the next most common reason would be because of personal ambition or the inconvenience of a child at that particular time.
But I think the least common is because of physical health reasons. Rape has some weight in the subject, of course, but it would fall into one of the above categories. But definitely the most common reason given is from external pressure while confusion reigns in the heart and mind of the mother to be.
None of these reasons are substantiated because these facts are not public knowledge; rather, they are my personal observations.
There are some long term effects that quite often are suppressed for many years, but when the mother begins to deal with issues in her life, the guilt, grief, or pain surface with a vengeance.
I personally have seen women literally fall to the ground in grief as these memories surface in spite of efforts to keep them suppressed.
Although I acknowledge that not all women who have gone through this procedure experience this torment, there are enough that complete courses lasting for up to 10 weeks have been developed to guide these fragile members of our society through a grieving and a healing process.
Like I mentioned before, there are help groups for all kinds of issues and problems, so it lends the question: if we know that so many long-term effects are so devastating, why are we still carrying on with these practices? Are we really that slow to learn?
Chris Salomons is kitchen co-ordinator for Potter’s Hands ministry in Red Deer.