Find us on Facebook Follow us on Twitter
Leo Paré - Red Deer Advocate

Leo Paré is the News and New Media Editor for the Red Deer Advocate. Contact him at lpare@reddeeradvocate.com

Follow Leo on Twitter — https://twitter.com/LeoPare'

Daredevil toddler keeps learning the hard way

Text  

As a relatively new parent, I’ve come to accept that trying to protect a little boy from injury is like trying to protect that obnoxious drunk buddy who doesn’t know when to shut up.
Email Print Share

Share This Story

Red Deer Advocate

As a relatively new parent, I’ve come to accept that trying to protect a little boy from injury is like trying to protect that obnoxious drunk buddy who doesn’t know when to shut up.

No matter what you do, eventually somebody’s going to get a bump on the noggin.

Now nearly two years old, our son Grayson is committed to putting himself in constant peril.

Standing at the top of the staircase, he’ll spread his arms wide and with a fiendish smile, slowly teeter forward, trusting completely that Mom or Dad will arrive in time to catch him.

All large, wheeled toys are now mobile balance beams, which he carefully positions on hard surfaces or near sharp-cornered furniture to maximize his odds for cuts or head trauma.

He’s also taken to popping wheelies with his Lightning McQueen ride-on car and leaping from the coffee table to the couch.

I recently caught him putting one hand in the dog’s mouth and then using the other hand to try and manually close Yogi’s jaws (thankfully, our laidback old dachshund is a good sport about it all). This went on for a minute or so before Grayson turned to me with dramatic indignation and declared, “Yogi bite me! Ouchies!”

When he first started walking at one-year-old, Amanda and I used to shadow his every move to ensure he didn’t fall over or bump his precious coconut. Now, he walks into a room with nasty scratches or bruises that we can’t even account for.

“What did you do?” I ask. But the answer is always the same.

“Grayson bonk,” he says, pointing to the most recent injury.

Women seem to worry about this stuff a lot more than men.

I hold the view that if he takes a few tumbles doing something silly, he’ll eventually learn to be more cautious.

Amanda seems to think every mishap causes him deep physical and emotional distress that will some day fester into a seething resentment toward his parents.

Just a few days ago, he insisted on trying to carry a big laundry basket up the stairs, despite my numerous warnings. He made it about three steps before going over sideways. Daddy was too slow to react and he went tumbling back to the bottom. Staring up at me with an accusatory expression, he took a deep breath and screamed, “MOMMY HUG ME!”

As if I didn’t feel guilty enough already, Amanda came running around the corner, picked him up, turned to me and asked, “What the hell were you doing?”

“Watching,” I said.

Through our own experiences and discussions with other parents, we’ve both learned to take a more relaxed approach with our toddler and his penchant for danger.

Besides, if Grayson grows up to be anything like his old man, we’ll need to save our strength for the teen years.

Leo Paré is the Advocate’s online editor. Contact him by email at lpare@reddeeradvocate.com or follow him on Twitter at www.twitter.com/LeoPare

COMMENTS

COMMENTING ETIQUETTE: To encourage open exchange of ideas in the Red Deer Advocate community, we ask that you follow our guidelines and respect standards. Personal attacks, offensive language and unsubstantiated allegations are not allowed. More on etiquette...

 

 

follow us on twitter

Featured partners