Matrimonial mayhem in Mexico
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ShareHaving just returned from a trip to Mexico, I had planned to share the whole experience with you in just one concise article. As I was writing, it became clear the whole story was going to run long, so I’ve broken it down into a mini-series for your reading pleasure.
PART 1
Ah, Mexico. It brings out the 18-year-old in all of us doesn’t it?
I just returned from a week-long holiday to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico where my fiancée Amanda was a bridesmaid in a close friend’s wedding.
I should be clear that this was no ordinary resort-style beach wedding. This matrimonial event attracted no less than 95 hard-partying Albertans who were determined to squeeze every ounce of fun out of this warm-weather adventure.
Most of the group departed from Edmonton on Saturday afternoon, but Amanda and I caught a slightly later flight out of Calgary. Our trip got out to an unfortunate start when we were forced to sit apart during the four-and-a-half-hour flight because we had neglected to pay a ‘pre-booking fee’ when we bought our tickets.
Upon arrival in Puerto Vallarta, we zipped through the customs line, grabbed our bags, then dodged an aggressive horde of time-share salesmen who tried valiantly to bribe us into attending a “short presentation.” If we had more time, I would have enjoyed countering these guys by pretending to be a time-share rep from Rimbey.
When we emerged from the time-share gauntlet to meet our bus, we were greeted by an exuberant young man wearing nothing but a black speedo, sunglasses and an inside-out ball cap. As we passed, he made obscene thrusting gestures and screamed ‘Welcome to Me-hee-co!’
I would later learn that this coulourful fellow was the best man at the wedding we were attending, and in fact the groom and all of the groomsman were required to wear these terribly revealing Speedos all week long.
When we arrived at the Riu Vallarta hotel at around 2 a.m., Speedo Man had somehow beat us there and was pouring shots of tequila for everyone in the lobby. He then directed everyone involved in the wedding to congregate at the all-night sports bar, which was packed with loud, rowdy, drunken Albertans. A single Mexican bartender scrambled desperately to keep up with the thirsty bunch, but when no backup arrived, all he could do was let the guests reach across the bar and serve themselves.
I had a feeling we were in for one crazy week.
Check back soon for PART 2 — Offensive Speedos at the pool party
