Charm. Who has none of it, not a drop? Who can ladle it out like pancake batter, and why?
British politician Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, always in the soup, has been filmed handing out charm by the boatload, and some journalists have fallen for it. How did he manage it?
Boris, who presents himself as a cheerful Vita-Mix mess of a politician, is a posh, Old Etonian Conservative Brexiteer, who rises to power as quickly as he falls. He recently resigned as foreign secretary for intricate Brexit reasons and then wrote a newspaper column defending the right of British women to wear the burqa, sort of.
He probably meant the niqab, which is black, top-to-toe, with a slot in the face to show only the eyes. “If you say that it is weird and bullying to expect women to cover their faces, then I totally agree,” Johnson wrote. “I would go further and say that it is absolutely ridiculous that people should choose to go around looking like letter boxes.” The phrase “bank robbers” also appeared.
He was loudly criticized, and reporters seeking comment were camped outside his country home, hoping he’d explain himself. Instead he popped out on a hot day and offered them tea. His look is self-chosen, vaguely Trumpish. He is fat, messy-haired, blokeish, a clever bumbler who appears not to mind a bit of indignity.
He emerged amiably in ratty sports gear with a muddle of mugs on a tray, saying to reporters, “Would you like a cup of tea? Have a cup of tea.”
“I’m here solely on a humanitarian mission,” he said, “because you’ve been here all day, and you’ve been incredibly patient and I feel very sorry for you because I have nothing to say, except to offer you some tea.” Google his performance and see what you think.
Whatever his defects - he has been a lifelong liar, womanizer, and charlatan – he won me over. A bit.
In a racist season, his column was ill-judged. But feminists like me don’t like burqas and niqabs either. Historian Tom Holland says black robes are subliminally upsetting because “they remind us of the Grim Reaper.”
Speaking of charmers who wriggle out of tight corners, U.S. president Bill Clinton had charisma, as did JFK, but they both brutalized women. While Prime Minister Justin Trudeau doesn’t have charm exactly - his Scottish side would see that as calculated - but he has courtesy, human warmth, and French sociability.
Charm works. Conservatives are generally devoid of humour – remember Stephen Harper, the least charming man alive – and I have no idea why. Charm requires sincerity, attention, a genuine concern that a guest gets a drink and introductions, a little self-deprecation.
Charm requires confidence and ease, which men are more likely to possess, many having been dishonestly praised all their lives and seen all doors open like magic. Women, already debased, aren’t often allowed to have charm; it’s classed as femininity, which is seen as a low thing in a conference room.
Canadian historian Margaret MacMillan, former Supreme Court chief justice Beverly McLachlin and British historian Mary Beard have immense intelligence yet have no “side,” no snobbery. They’ll talk to anyone, without hauteur. One is charmed.
Charm greases the skids of human interaction. People with charm don’t take things personally and don’t hold grudges. They can talk you into things because you trust them. You can see that bitterness hasn’t yet crusted over them.
Charm is donating to the AGO without demanding your name be plastered on a wall. Charm is listening to women when they talk, making sure all have had their say.
The American actor Paul Rudd has charm. Novelist Karl Ove Knausgaard has none, finds himself deplorable, and actively writes to disabuse you of any idea that he might be admirable in any way. It’s a Norwegian thing. It is part of his charm.
Insecure people cannot be charming. All their effort is spent on shoring up their own dilapidated structure in order to impress you. Doug and Donald, it does not.
Charm is nourishing while also being the candied violet on the icing of a marzipan cake. It draws you near. It’s the best bit.
Heather Mallick is a national affairs writer.