Harley Hay

Lost in a blood-deprived delirium

Hasn’t it been a marvelous summer so far for experiencing the great outdoors? Yeah, sure, if you happen to be a blood-lusting insect.

The bulldog calender was put together for a great cause

I miss hanging around with bullies

It was a good week. This week I got to cuddle to my hearts content with the likes of Maggie, Beatrice, Georgia and Vanna, and my Better Half didn’t even mind. Yep, it was all about a lot of snuffling, slobbering, and snorting — and in addition to my bad habits, the girls were pretty noisy too. Did I mention that Maggie, Beatrice, Georgia and Vanna are dogs? I’m not being impolite, they really are dogs.

The bulldog calender was put together for a great cause

All’s fair — deep-fried — at the Fair

I don’t think anybody needs a real good reason to go to the Fair. What I mean is, the real good reasons come already built in when the Fair arrives. All you have to do is go, and the real good reasons for being there will already be there waiting for you.

The weather here can make your head explode

They call it “biometeorology” and a couple of guys from Ontario are worldwide biometeorological leaders. But you may well ask: “Just what is biometeorology?”

Some vehicles too noisy, others not loud enough

If it isn’t one thing, it’s another. If it isn’t midnight partiers from the house down the alley, it’s the guy with the stereo in his car identical to the P.A. system at a Rolling Stones concert, with the bass turned up so loud it actually crumbles the asphalt underneath the car as he drives by.

Mystery of caffeine command centres

I know many of you under the age of 30 won’t believe me, but a cup of coffee used to cost less than 25 cents in the nicest restaurant in town.

The theory of relativity explained

Albert Einstein had it tough. I mean, whenever he came up with genius theories and unfathomable equations and other esoteric stuff nobody else could understand, he would never hear: “Wow, this guy’s a real Einstein!”

Walking and launching all in the same week

Last week was a pretty significant time for me. It marked the first time I walked more than 20 laps in a row at one time over at the running track at the Collicutt Centre.

Be careful what you say and how you say it

Sometimes a person just says stuff without thinking. It comes unexpectedly blurting out of your mouth before you can stop it – bursting out like a nervous budgie when you open the door of the birdcage.

Here’s proof that aliens are walking among us

Extra terrestrial beings have been all over the news lately. Not because they actually stepped out of a spaceship and immediately wanted to phone home.

I’m in search of the perfect food

Lately I’ve been watching what I eat. I watch every single mouthful as I shovel it from the plate to pie hole. Old joke, but true.

In my opinion, spring is for the birds

I barely know the difference between a magpie and a mallard, but I know one thing — I like birds. And spring is a good time of year if you happen to like birds.

It’s the season for street hockey in Canada

We used to call it “alley hockey” instead of “road hockey,” but it was truly our very own version of Hockey Night in Canada to me and my friends.

It’s that chocolate time of year again

It’s a meaningful time of year. A time of Easter, a time of the spring equinox and the spring solstice. A time for thoughtful reflection and refreshing renewal. And, of course, a time for a deeply secular commitment to the love of chocolate.

Drowning in cyber sea of social networking

My friend calls it “Crackbook” on account of it’s so addictive. And she’s right. Facebook is seriously habit-forming.

Long hair today, no hair tomorrow

I remember, way back in high school, before the invention of cellphones, iPods and human rights, there were guys who grew their hair over their ears and combed it down over their foreheads instead of up in a solid wave of hair and goop that wouldn’t budge in the middle of Hurricane Seymore.

I miss the Vancouver Olympics already

Two weeks already? I can’t believe the Vancouver 2010 Olympic Games — the “thrill of victory and the agony of defeat and the human drama of athletic competition” — are almost over.

Keeping this secret an Olympic-sized challenge

I’m usually pretty good at keeping secrets. I didn’t even tell my first girlfriend, Linda, that she was in fact my girlfriend. I kept that secret all the way through Grade 3. I kept it so well that I don’t think she even knew who I was.

Harley Hay

Shining a light on the February Blahs

Do you get the February Blahs? I know I do.

Harley Hay

Does anyone really know what time it is?

They say time heals all wounds. They, whoever “they” are, also say time is the enemy. Time is on your side. There’s no time like the present. Time will tell.