As part of the Alberta coaching network, I’m fortunate to have access to some of the most influential business professionals willing to share their expertise and best practices.
Sometimes we have opportunities to explore concepts that are of a more personal/interpersonal nature.
This information is both helpful to us in our personal lives and as business owners.
Author and coach Pat Pearson was the guest presenter at a recent planning session.
Pearson is a seasoned facilitator with over 30 years experience working with many high-profile corporations, associations and direct-selling companies.
Referencing her career as a psychotherapist and leadership coach, Pearson focused her workshop on the many ways that faulty thinking patterns create barriers to achieving success in life. (1)
Pearson proposed that what we create for ourselves is determined largely by what we “think we deserve.”
The psychology of the “deserve level” is formed early in our lives.
This viewpoint is similar to the Be-Do-Have formula I use in my practice.
The basis of this principle helps one to understand who they must Become, to be able to Do what is necessary, so they can Have the things they want and need.
Our identity is based on our values and beliefs, often inherited from our environment, culture, parents, siblings, school, friends, etc. Pearson validated that spoken and unspoken messages — positive and negative — are extremely powerful and directly affect our self-esteem and therefore, what we deserve.
Every day we make choices (consciously or unconsciously) and take actions that we think will help us achieve our desired outcomes. Our intentions are good; our goals achievable. So why do we not succeed?
Negative self-talk, that inner critic, directly impacts our thoughts and feelings and can create self-defeating behaviour patterns. This ultimately leads to self-sabotage.
Even though we are not aware we are doing it, we set up roadblocks to our own successes in life.
We all self-sabotage to one degree or another. Procrastination is one of the biggest causes; knowing what steps need to be taken, but purposely not following through, is another.
Harvard business professor Shad Helmstetter revealed some startling statistics in his book What to Say When You Talk to Yourself. On average, a person’s thoughts are 77 per cent negative and 23 per cent positive.
How do we begin to switch these percentages?
Napoleon Hill was one of the earliest writers of personal success literature. He professed that personal beliefs played a direct role in achieving personal success.
Hill stated that we can achieve any realistic goal if we think positively on that goal. Consequently, if we doubt we can achieve a goal our subconscious will help us to not achieve it.
So how does negative self-talk contribute to self-sabotage?
If you are focused on what’s not working, what is going continually wrong and how poorly sales are going, you deplete your energy and are prone to self-sabotage.
The reticular activating system (RAS) is a part of the brain that controls mental alertness. The RAS cannot distinguish between real events and synthetic reality. In other words, it tends to believe whatever message you focus on.
The RAS is familiar with a lifetime of old “I don’t” or “I can’t” statements. It is possible to re-program your RAS by consciously anchoring your thoughts? (Of course, severe emotional issues require professional advice.) Establishing written goals, stating outcomes and visualizing results are proven techniques.
Some years ago, comedian Dana Carvey performed a character that spoofed “I am” statements. The amazing thing is that these two words, and positive affirmations, are very powerful.
Pearson stressed that the first step is to catch the negative thoughts in process, so we can avoid self-sabotaging behaviors. She believes that we experience change in our lives every six months, therefore it’s necessary to gain new insights.
“Energy follows thought. New awareness leads to renewed energy.”
It is possible to reframe your thoughts. But like most life-changing events, it requires conscious effort to transform your thought processes. Develop practical techniques that help you to focus and create more positive energy.
That great book you read a year or so ago — read it again. Listen to motivational CDs once more. You will probably find a new perspective on the subject matter.
Pearson confirmed that, “How you run your life is how you run a business.”
Simply put, you are your business. It’s our responsibility to consciously create success.
1. Stop Self Sabotage: Get Out of Your Own Way to Earn More Money, Improve Your Relationships, and Find the Success You Deserve, 2008 by Pat Pearson
ActionCoach is written by John MacKenzie of ActionCoach, which helps small- to medium-sized businesses and other organizations. He can be contacted at johnmackenzie@actioncoach.com or by phone at 403-340-0880.