Our ‘inner dialogue’ is backwards

The “Be-Do-Have” formula is often referred to in business and wealth-creation literature, and is usually one of the fundamental principles addressed in both personal and business coaching. We all make choices every single day.

The “Be-Do-Have” formula is often referred to in business and wealth-creation literature, and is usually one of the fundamental principles addressed in both personal and business coaching.

We all make choices every single day.

We make decisions (consciously or unconsciously) and take actions that we think will help us achieve our desired outcomes.

We think, “What do I need to Have so I can Do what I want and Become the person I want to be?”

This inner dialogue is backwards.

The principle starts with Be. Who do you need to Become in order to Do what is necessary to Have the things you want?

Everyone has an identity that has been developed over our lifetime. Our environment, culture, parents, siblings, school, friends, etc. were all recorded and are played back every day of our lives.

Unspoken messages, positive or negative, contribute to our identity and influence our behaviour.

Sometimes our identify creates invisible limitations.

Until you examine the concepts, chances are your beliefs regarding family, relationships, money, education, business and success have been inherited.

Visualize an iceberg moving through the water. Above the water line we see a person’s behaviour. This affects their decisions, actions and therefore their results.

What is visible on the water’s surface is just a fraction of what lies underneath. But just below the surface is an imposing mass, so huge that it steers the entire iceberg.

The unseen part is where Be exists. What steers us is a combination of our identity, plus our values and beliefs, and the skills we’ve learned, all surrounded in an environment of choice.

Most of us are totally unaware of what we’ve inherited from our background. Some may be relevant and useful to our well-being. Some may be totally irrelevant, out-dated, or even standing in our way.

It takes some courage to look at the influences under the surface that steer you.

Often, the first contributing factor to our behavior is our skill level. Ideally we should be doing things we’re good at and we enjoy.

Adding to one’s skill set — education and training — can radically change behaviors. What skills do you now possess, and what others do you need to acquire (become good at)?

Beliefs influence skills. A belief is something you hold true but isn’t necessarily accurate.

Any significant emotional event in our lives can wipe out even the strongest belief. Affirming what you truly believe and releasing the baggage you’ve carried with you over the years can be extremely powerful.

“I am” are the two most influential words in the English language. The only two that have more power are “I don’t” and “I can’t.”

Our brains can be trained to incorporate new “I am” statements. Discover and select your I am statements, either on your own or with help from a trusted friend or mentor. Be mindful that your brain is equally susceptible to old “I can’t” statements.

Take a hard look at your present environment. This is the water in which the iceberg exists.

Does it nurture you; is it positive and healthy? If it is toxic, change it. Discard blame, excuses and denial. Be a victor, not a victim.

Make one small goal, one step in the right direction. Small successes will empower you to move forward.

We can gradually chip away at outdated values and limiting beliefs. We can learn or improve new skills. No matter what age or stage in life, we can strengthen our identity to allow us to Be successful.

The Be-Do-Have principle demands personal awareness and a willingness to grow to achieve success. It takes courage to look at ourself first, to examine what we may need to Become in order to Do what is necessary to Have the life we deserve.

Quoting Brian Tracy: “Ongoing, continuous, non-stop personal development literally assures you that there is no limit to what you can accomplish.”

Using this basic principle of Be Do Have will ultimately influence personal and business performance.

ActionCoach is written by John MacKenzie of ActionCoach, which helps small- to medium-sized businesses and other organizations. He can be contacted at johnmackenzie@actioncoach.com or by phone at 403-340-0880.

Get local stories you won't find anywhere else right to your inbox.
Sign up here

Just Posted

If you're heading out to the West Country have a plan in case things go wrong, says Clearwater Regional Fire Rescue Services fire chief Steve Debienne.
(Photo from CRFRS Facebook)
West Country visitors should have an emergency plan: regional fire chief

Cellphones can’t be relied on in many back country areas

Rode
Sarcevic leads an impressive list of additions to RDC Kings soccer

In 2019 the RDC Kings soccer program took a major step forward… Continue reading

The Red Deer PCN Women's Fun Run will take on a different look this weekend with rising COVID-19 numbers.
Women’s Fun Run goes ahead this weekend in Red Deer

With new public health measures in place because of rising COVID-19 case… Continue reading

Alberta’s chief medical officer of health Dr. Deena Hinshaw asked Albertans to limit travel throughout the province as COVID-19 cases continue to rise. (Photo by Chris Schwarz/Government of Alberta)
Red Deer nears 900 active COVID-19 cases

Province reports additional 2,211 COVID-19 cases

David Eggen, the NDP’s advanced education critic, said the UCP government has been focused on cutting funding to post-secondary institutions across Alberta. (Contributed photo)
NDP worry new status for Red Deer College doesn’t mean more funding

This week the province announced that RDC will become a polytechnic institute

Alberta Health Services locked the Whistle Stop Cafe in Mirror on Wednesday morning after owner Christopher Scott refused to comply with health orders. (Photo by Paul Cowley/Advocate staff)
UPDATED: AHS shuts down Whistle Stop Cafe for defying health orders

Justice minister promises to get tough with those ignoring public health orders

Wizards beat Raptors in OT, Toronto playoff bid nearly over

Wizards beat Raptors in OT, Toronto playoff bid nearly over

Toronto Blue Jays' Teoscar Hernandez (37) hits a single to drive in two runs against the Oakland Athletics during the sixth inning of a baseball game in Oakland, Calif., on Thursday, May 6, 2021. (AP Photo/Tony Avelar)
Grichuk drives in 5, Jays beat A’s 10-4 for series split

Grichuk drives in 5, Jays beat A’s 10-4 for series split

Canada's Sports Hall of Fame 2019 inductee Jayna Hefford speaks in Toronto on Wednesday, October 23, 2019. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Frank Gunn
Three Canadian teams to play in women’s hockey Dream Gap Tour in Calgary

Three Canadian teams to play in women’s hockey Dream Gap Tour in Calgary

Rugby Canada says some members of women’s sevens team have tested positive for COVID

Rugby Canada says some members of women’s sevens team have tested positive for COVID

Team Canada skip Kerri Einarson, centre, makes a shot as lead Briane Meilleur, left, and second Shannon Birchard sweep against Denmark at the Women's World Curling Championship in Calgary, Alta., Thursday, May 6, 2021.THE CANADIAN PRESS/Jeff McIntosh
Einarson’s five-game win streak ends with loss to Japan at world curling playdowns

Einarson’s five-game win streak ends with loss to Japan at world curling playdowns

FILE - In this Feb. 24, 2020, photo, the Olympics rings are reflected on the window of a hotel restaurant as a server with a mask sets up a table, in the Odaiba section of Tokyo. The vaccine rollout in Japan has been very slow with less than 1% vaccinated. This of course is spilling over to concerns about the postponed Tokyo Olympics that open in just over three months.(AP Photo/Jae C. Hong, File)
Canadian athletes, coaches applaud news of vaccine doses ahead of Tokyo

Canadian athletes, coaches applaud news of vaccine doses ahead of Tokyo

Minister of Employment, Workforce Development and Disability Inclusion Carla Qualtrough holds a press conference on Parliament Hill in Ottawa on Thursday, Sept. 24, 2020. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Sean Kilpatrick
Liberals pressed to ease access to EI parental leave to help unemployed moms

Liberals pressed to ease access to EI parental leave to help unemployed moms

Katie Telford, Chief of Staff to the Prime Minister, appears as a witness via videoconference during a House of Commons finance committee in Ottawa, Thursday, July 30, 2020. The Canadian Press has learned that Katie Telford has written members of the defence committee inquiry into allegations of sexual misconduct against Canada's former top military commander, offering to testify at their meeting Friday. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Sean Kilpatrick
PM’s chief of staff offers to testify on Vance sexual misconduct allegations

PM’s chief of staff offers to testify on Vance sexual misconduct allegations

Most Read