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Alcoholic husband acting bizarre

My sister, “Miranda,” is married to an alcoholic who is getting more bizarre each year.

Dear Annie: My sister, “Miranda,” is married to an alcoholic who is getting more bizarre each year.

Miranda and her 12-year-old son are not allowed to go out after dark. If they go out during the day, “Biff” calls repeatedly on their cellphones. My nephew cannot go anywhere without one of his parents. Biff drives him to and from school because he is not allowed to ride the school bus. He cannot go on school trips unless Biff accompanies him. They can’t do anything without Biff’s permission.

Miranda is afraid to leave because Biff has threatened to kill her if she does. My nephew began having panic attacks a few years ago. My sister was taking him to a counsellor who put him on medication, and he got better. Then his father said he couldn’t do that, either. Now the panic attacks have gotten worse. I gave my cellphone number to my nephew and told him to call me anytime he needs me. I feel as if I’m waiting for something terrible to happen. How can I help Miranda understand that she is teaching her son that he deserves to be treated this way? — Concerned Aunt in N.C.

Dear Aunt: Biff is an abusive bully who has convinced Miranda that this situation is the best she’s going to have. But she needs to get her son out of that destructive environment. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline (ndvh.org) at 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233), and ask how you can help your sister. She is lucky to have you.

Dear Annie: I discovered pornography on my husband’s work cell phone. The phone was given to him for business purposes only, but he gives out that number instead of our home phone. It makes me feel like he is hiding something.

The other day I got a call from one of his co-workers’ wives. She told me to check my husband’s phone and see the kind of messages he is accepting from his work buddies. Sure enough, there were filthy comments along with pictures of slutty women, partially clothed, in different sexual positions.

As far as I know, he hasn’t sent these emails to anyone else. Do you think he’s afraid to tell these guys to stop sending him porn? Isn’t it unlawful to send such things? What would happen if he opened up one of those photos while driving? Talk about distracting. We have a great sex life, and I still get compliments on my looks. I don’t understand what makes men do this. Companies need to crack down on how their phones are used. — Heartbroken in Texas

Dear Texas: It is not unlawful to send pictures of partially clothed adult women to other adults. You should discuss this openly with your husband. Tell him what you found, and explain that it bothers you to know he accepts these pictures. Additionally, he might get in trouble with his bosses if they discover he uses his company phone for these purposes. Ask him to please delete all such messages.