Apology is warranted

A few months ago, my daughter got into an argument with her brother.

Dear Annie: A few months ago, my daughter got into an argument with her brother.

During the course of this very heated disagreement, my daughter said she never liked his stepson because of something that happened 10 years ago.

My son’s wife overheard the remark and was very hurt.

When she came into the family, her son was very young and we all accepted him.

I asked my daughter to apologize for making such a damaging comment.

She replied that she didn’t understand what the big deal was and they should get over it.

I cannot get through to her what an awful thing she said and how much it hurt them.

Because of this, none of them are speaking to each other.

This means we can’t get the family together. It is literally making me sick.

When I ask her to apologize, my daughter accuses me of taking sides.

I told both of them they need to resolve this before it begins to fester. Is the situation hopeless? — Crying Mom

Dear Mom: Not hopeless, but it will take some effort from both of your kids to fix it.

Your daughter must apologize, and your son must forgive.

And you are right — the longer they wait, the harder it will be.

Talk to your daughter first. She may be reluctant to admit fault, so explain that whether right or wrong, it is important to say you are sorry when you hurt someone, especially a person you care about.

She doesn’t have to apologize for her opinion of his stepson (and she should keep future opinions to herself), but she absolutely needs to tell her brother that she didn’t mean to cause pain to him or his wife and she is sorry. Period.

If she agrees, speak to your son and urge him to accept his sister’s apology so they can rebuild their relationship.

It will not be easy and it may take some time, but this is a good start.

Dear Annie: My husband is 64 and I’m 59. We are independent and active and only have a few minor health issues.

We are planning to retire to a beautiful area about a four-hour drive from where we live now.

The problem is our daughter feels it is wrong for us to move away because it will be too hard for her to care for us when we get too old to care for ourselves.

We think that time is fairly far in the future, and even so, our new community includes a hospital and there are two other medical facilities nearby.

I think our daughter feels guilty because someone told her they couldn’t believe she would let us move so far away. What can we say to help her deal with this better? — Confused

Dear Confused: Your daughter isn’t thinking about hospital care. She’s worried about the day you can no longer drive to the grocery store or clean your house, and she has a point.

However, you are still young enough to enjoy many more years of independence, and there’s no reason you can’t do it where you prefer. Assure her that if it becomes too difficult to remain self-sufficient, you will consider moving closer to her.

In the meantime, please visit as often as you can.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611.

Just Posted

Alberta hiring more paramedics and buying new ambulances, none for Red Deer

Red Deer Mayor Tara Veer is not concerned the provincial government didn’t… Continue reading

‘My nightmare began again’: Close call as bus carrying Humboldt crash survivor rear-ended

CALGARY — A terrifying ordeal for Humboldt Broncos survivor Ryan Straschnitzki this… Continue reading

Halifax airport operations normalize after Boeing 747 runway overshoot

HALIFAX — The Halifax Stanfield International Airport has resumed normal operations a… Continue reading

Bentley family left without a home grateful for community support

Central Albertans are coming together to support a Bentley family left homeless… Continue reading

Red Deer RCMP ready for new mandatory alcohol screening law

Red Deer RCMP are ready to enforce a new law intended to… Continue reading

WATCH: Red Deer and District Kennel Club Dog Show at Westerner Park

The Red Deer and District Kennel Club is holding a dog show… Continue reading

Pence aide out of running to be Trump’s next chief of staff

WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump’s top pick to replace chief of staff… Continue reading

Swath of South faces wintry mess: Snow, sleet, freezing rain

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — A massive storm brought snow, sleet, and freezing rain… Continue reading

‘I killed my best friend’: Opioids’ fatal grip on mayor, pal

MOUNT CARBON, Pa. — Janel Firestone found her son — the 24-year-old,… Continue reading

Brothers, 20, face second-degree murder charge in death of teen: police

MISSISSAUGA, Ont. — Police west of Toronto say two brothers have been… Continue reading

A young mayor, his friend, and a fatal attraction to opioids

MOUNT CARBON, Pa. — Janel Firestone found her son — the 24-year-old,… Continue reading

GM fights to retain key tax credit amid plant closing plans

WASHINGTON — General Motors is fighting to retain a valuable tax credit… Continue reading

TTC union asks provincial government to step in on transition to Presto

TORONTO — The union representing transit workers in Canada’s most populous city… Continue reading

Small pot growers find roadblocks on path to microcultivation licences

Yan Boissonneault’s daughter was turning blue. Without warning, his baby had stopped… Continue reading

Most Read