“A policy is a temporary creed liable to be changed, but while it holds good it has got to be pursued with apostolic zeal.” — Mahatma Gandhi, political and spiritual leader
“You’ve really put me in an awkward position!”
I wasn’t sure how to respond to the statement.
Pauline was manager of a competing advertising department and we were both vying for a yearly contract from the same client.
We had apparently offered our client an option that her department was unwilling to consider.
“We have a strict policy,” she explained, “which you, obviously, do not!”
I asked Pauline to enlighten me.
As she laid out her department’s policy, something clicked in the back of my mind.
It then occurred to me that the policy she was espousing was mine, or at least, of my creation.
You see, year’s prior, I had worked for the same company. In fact, I had managed the same department as Pauline.
Young and idealistic, I had taken it upon myself to draft a detailed, all-encompassing policy for my new department.
I had fought with fervour to implement and uphold each component; it was my proverbial line in the sand.
Time passed and I eventually moved to another company. Life tempered my idealism with a strong dose of reality.
I began to look at the world in a more realistic and grounded manner and, as such, began to relinquish my grip on many previous policies — business and personal. Among the policies I relinquished, were many I had devised while working for the old company. Pauline finished reciting my policy and asked what I planned to do about it.
“First and foremost,” I said. “I would ask that you consider disregarding it.”
A moment of silence followed by a tirade: how dare I suggest that Pauline and her company simply “disregard” a policy that defined their positional stance on the issue?
“Pauline,” I said, calmly. “I wrote that policy on behalf of the company.”
Another pause and then the assertion that I, of all people, should therefore understand the importance of the policy’s intent. I explained that since drafting the policy I had come to realize that many its components were based on inexperience and my naivety of business practices.
“As creator of the policy,” I declared, “I hereby free you from adherence!”
My comment was punctuated by a bang on the other end of the line as Pauline slammed down the receiver.
In retrospect, I regret being so flippant, but I was trying to make a point.
A policy is simply an agreement — a plan of action adopted by an individual or group. The business world is riddled with policies and many, unfortunately, are old and outdated.
Yet many companies still require individuals to adhere to them and, not surprisingly, many employees have no idea who devised the policy or what its original intent might have been.
Think of your belief system as a policy designed to help you traverse the tricky landscape of your life. How many active policies or agreements do you have in place?
Are you bound by outdated policies that are negatively impacting your self-esteem and enjoyment of life?
You may have devised these policies at one point in your life and found them useful in manoeuvering through your family dynamic.
Perhaps as you ventured out into the world, you crafted another set of policies to help you understand the subtleties of this unfamiliar terrain. If you’re like most people, you’ve honoured policies that were written by others — parents, grandparents, teachers, coaches and other people of authority – and accepted them as your own. And like those aforementioned business people, if asked, you would probably have difficulty relating the origin of the policy or explaining why it’s vital that you adhere to it.
I heard a story some years ago that illuminates the point in a humorous yet powerful way. A young wife was preparing a ham dinner for her new husband. When she served the ham, the husband noted that both ends of the roast had been sliced off.
“It’s a family tradition,” she told her husband. Later, the young wife asked her mother about the origin of the tradition. Her mother thought for a minute then declared that she really had no idea. She had seen her mother do it and had simply carried on the custom.
Both daughter and mother called grandmother who was also unable to shed any light on the issue. All three went to visit great-grandmother and after a cup of tea, posed the question to her.
“Oh my,” great-grandmother said, bursting into laughter.
The women were confused. After catching her breath, great-grandmother explained that back when she used to cook meals for the large family, she only had a small oven and thus a smaller than usual roasting pan. She had to slice the ends off the ham in order to get the meat to fit into the pan.
Without awareness, old policies can rule and ruin our lives. You may actually be standing firm on policies that no longer serve you, never served you, or were written to serve the needs of someone living in a different period of time and in a very different life situation. Unfortunately, many of us would rather defend our policies than take an honest look at them and determine — once and for all — if they do or do not serve our best interest.
American economist, John Kenneth Galbraith once declared, “Faced with the choice between changing one’s mind and proving that there is no need to do so, almost everyone gets busy on the proof.”
As for Pauline, she refused to budge from her adherence to my old policy and thus lost the account. We can all benefit from having the bright light of reason and common sense focused upon the policies we embrace in both our business and personal lives.
Murray Fuhrer is a local self-esteem expert and facilitator. His new book is entitled Extreme Esteem: The Four Factors. For more information on self-esteem, check the Extreme Esteem website at www.extremeesteem.ca