Boyfriend drops widow for another widow

I am a 49-year-old widow. I recently began dating the most wonderful gentleman. “Martin” and I fell in love in just eight weeks.

Dear Annie: I am a 49-year-old widow. I recently began dating the most wonderful gentleman. “Martin” and I fell in love in just eight weeks.

Martin worked with a man who died four months ago. That widow has been having a rough time because her late husband killed himself, and after that she discovered he had been cheating on her.

She lives in the same town where Martin works, and I am two hours away. We helped her move out of her house, and Martin said he’d be there whenever she needed him. She started calling him all the time.

One night he had to work late, which he never does. I didn’t hear from him all day. By 11 p.m., I figured he’d call me on his drive home, but he didn’t. The next morning, I texted and asked why he hadn’t called. He said he’d been on the phone with the other woman. Martin had transferred some home movies to CDs for her, and she was crying while watching them. This was the second time she had called him crying over those videos.

I was a little hurt that Martin didn’t call me after speaking to her and told him so in a text message. I didn’t hear back. Three days later, I texted again and asked, “Can we talk, or is the relationship over?” He replied, “It’s over.”

I am so distraught. He won’t communicate whatsoever. I don’t get it. I know he is not interested in this woman. Why doesn’t she call her girlfriends when she’s crying instead of a single guy in a newly established relationship?

We were so in love. How can it be over so quickly after one little disagreement? What should I do? — Heartbroken Widow

Dear Heartbroken: You may not want to believe it, but Martin is most definitely interested in this woman, and she’s a lot more conveniently located than you. She is after him, and that’s why she calls, crying and needy. He’s a louse for breaking it off the way he did, and you might have gotten more information had you called instead of texted, but he’s right about one thing: It’s over. Sorry.

Dear Annie: I have two girlfriends who live in opposite directions from me. Whenever I invite one of them to my house, the other shows up unannounced. It’s as if they have radar or something.

They talk to each other and ignore everyone else. When they leave, they say it’s been fun and we should talk again. What talk? I didn’t say a word. I am nothing more than a waitress in the restaurant, providing them with drinks. I feel like leaving a bill and asking for a tip. What do you suggest? — Without a Tip

Dear Tip: There is no mystery why they both show up. When you invite one, she phones the other and tells her to come. Obviously, these two women cannot be apart from each other. Either invite both of them or neither.

Dear Annie: I wanted to respond to your reply to “Sleeping Alone in Florida,” whose boyfriend insists on staying with his parents when they visit, and she stays with hers. You said he was being selfish not to compromise.

For three years before my husband and I married, we would visit his folks in Florida. Although his parents had prepared a bed for the two of us, I felt very uncomfortable sleeping in the same bed with him and told him so. Consequently, we slept in separate rooms in the same house until we were married.

Maybe the boyfriend feels uncomfortable sleeping with her in either house out of respect for both sets of parents. — C.D.

Dear C.D.: We were bombarded with angry mail from readers who assumed the boyfriend was doing this out of respect — a perfectly good reason, and if so, he ought to make it clear to his girlfriend.

But even in separate bedrooms, the two of them should alternate where they stay, if possible. It’s good practice for when they marry.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611.

Just Posted

Gasoline Alley Harley Davidson hosts 7th annual Toy Run

Bikers jumped on their motorcycles this weekend to help make Christmas better… Continue reading

Innisfail RCMP locate drugs during traffic stop

A Rocky Mountain House man is facing charges after Innisfail RCMP located… Continue reading

Expert says acquittal of Alberta parents in boy’s death unlikely to set precedent

CALGARY — A law professor says the acquittal of an Alberta couple… Continue reading

Take Back the Night rally marches through downtown Red Deer

Dozens marched through the city’s downtown chanting, “Red Deer unite, take back… Continue reading

Houston area sees relief, rescues after Imelda leaves 4 dead

HOUSTON — Emergency workers used boats Friday to rescue about 60 residents… Continue reading

Your community calendar

Tuesday Bower Place Community Association Seniors Card and Coffee party at 1:30… Continue reading

Missing hiker found safe after spending night on North Vancouver mountain

VANCOUVER — Rescue crews have found a missing female hiker safe after… Continue reading

Trudeau was only one in dark makeup at 2001 party but nobody took offence: attendee

VANCOUVER — A man who attended an “Arabian Nights” gala held by… Continue reading

McKenna defends Canada’s climate credibility amid Trudeau controversy

OTTAWA — Liberal cabinet minister Catherine McKenna says Canada still has credibility… Continue reading

Blue Jays rookie Bo Bichette trying to “be smart” with head injury

NEW YORK — Blue Jays rookie shortstop Bo Bichette says he’s feeling… Continue reading

Climate activists step up protests in Britain and France

PARIS — Environmental activists in Britain and France stepped up campaigns Saturday… Continue reading

Man from Winnipeg who was hiking alone found dead in Banff National Park

LAKE LOUISE, Alta. — A hiker has been found dead in Banff… Continue reading

Singh campaigns in Toronto, May in Winnipeg, as Liberal and Tory leaders pause

OTTAWA — Jagmeet Singh and Elizabeth May are continuing on the campaign… Continue reading

Most Read