Boyfriend is a bully and a loser, so lose him

My boyfriend constantly stares at other women and makes salacious comments about them under his breath, as if I weren’t there.

Dear Annie: My boyfriend constantly stares at other women and makes salacious comments about them under his breath, as if I weren’t there. Then, when I say something, he denies it and says I’m crazy. Worse, he feels free to criticize my appearance. My boyfriend is overweight, but I have never made a negative comment about his size.

I am an attractive woman with a nice figure, and when he belittles me, he doesn’t understand why I don’t want to have sex with him.

I tell him his behaviour toward other women hurts my feelings and makes me feel inadequate, but he says all men do it and I should get professional help to control my insecurities.

I think he’s a bully. I wouldn’t mind counselling, but he would never agree to go. I’ve asked. We are in our late 40s, and I have never been treated this way by any man. Am I too sensitive? — Stressed Out

Dear Stressed: Let’s see. Your boyfriend ogles other women, demeans and criticizes you, and when you tell him it is hurtful, says you are crazy. He won’t get counselling.

Why are you with him? He sounds like a loser. So lose him.

Dear Annie: I am a single mom of two children, ages 10 and 16. I have a good job, can make ends meet on my own, and consider myself very independent.

I am in a relationship with a wonderful man. “Bill” also has a good job and a salary almost equal to mine. He has never been married and has no children. We love each other and have been living together for two years. This is not a temporary relationship.

The problem is, how do I get Bill to contribute to our rent and utility bills without having to ask him directly? When I fall short on rent and ask him for money, he gladly gives me whatever I want with no hesitation. But usually, I go from paycheque to paycheque while his pockets remain full.

It bothers me that I have to ask him to help. Shouldn’t he automatically contribute without needing an engraved invitation? — Don’t Want To Be Confrontational

Dear Don’t Want: Bill should be proportionately responsible for the upkeep of the home, including rent, utilities, phone bills, groceries and everything else.

Bill may believe an independent, self-reliant woman would find his offer of help insulting, so he waits until you ask. But every couple that lives together should sit down and work out a budget, incorporating both salaries. Stop playing passive-aggressive and speak frankly. You need to get this done.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611.

Just Posted

PHOTO: Rainbow Block Party at Red Deer’s West Park

The Trans and Non-Binary Aid Society hosted a Rainbow Block Party at… Continue reading

Blood donations needed in Central Alberta: Canadian Blood Services

357 donors are needed before Aug. 26 at the Red Deer clinic

WATCH: Annual Family Picnic at Central Spray and Play

Blue Grass Sod Farms Ltd. held the Annual Family Picnic at the… Continue reading

Photos: Smoky conditions in Red Deer

Red Deer and area is experiencing high risk air quality.See related: Red… Continue reading

Committee to decide how millions in Humboldt Broncos donations are split

SASKATOON — Lawyers for the families of some of those who died… Continue reading

Boy, 11, dies after being struck by payloader on southern Alberta ranch

BOW ISLAND, Alta. — A boy has died after an accident on… Continue reading

Liberals look at creating federal holiday to mark legacy of residential schools

OTTAWA — The federal Liberal government wants to establish a holiday to… Continue reading

Thousands of police officers expected at regimental funeral in Fredericton

FREDERICTON — Thousands of police officers and first responders from across the… Continue reading

B.C. declares state of emergency over wildfires

VICTORIA — The British Columbia government has declared a provincial state of… Continue reading

As service refusals make headlines, experts say businesses usually in the wrong

Two Canadian businesses that recently made headlines for refusing customers have learned… Continue reading

Irregular asylum claims increased in July after two months of decline

OTTAWA — The number of irregular border crossers in Canada went up… Continue reading

Most Read


Five-day delivery plus unlimited digital access for $185 for 260 issues (must live in delivery area to qualify) Unlimited Digital Access 99 cents for the first four weeks and then only $15 per month Five-day delivery plus unlimited digital access for $15 a month