This is complete and utter madness. Madness I say!
I am talking, of course, about Cadbury Mini Eggs. It’s not that they’re 160 calories for a tiny little package. It’s not that the package contains a miniscule 0.1 grams of Trans fat. It’s not even the five mg of cholesterol or conversely the fact that one package will meet two per cent of your daily requirements for Vitamin A, four per cent of your calcium intake or two percent of your iron needs.
The madness lies in the four new words printed across an eye catching pink banner on the front of the purple packet: Now available ALL YEAR!
It’s enough to make a grown person weep. First it was raspberries in December, then mandarin oranges in July and now this. What’s next? Candy canes in August? Wow. I’m even crankier about this than I thought.
The thing is I enjoy anticipation. Furthermore, I think it’s good for us. Necessary even. It’s always having something to look forward to that gives life its happy forward motion.
Einstein had his E-mc2 and I have my own little theory: L-a=d; life minus anticipation equals depression.
I recently heard a man speak about his passion for photography. While he hadn’t chosen it as a career, it had turned into a very satisfying hobby. When he first became interested in capturing images he had a young family, was just starting out and didn’t have much money.
However, whenever time allowed, he would scour the second hand shops for camera bodies, tripods and lenses. Occasionally these hunts paid off and he was rewarded with a quality piece of photography equipment for a price that fit his tight budget. He said he would never forget the thrill of rummaging around those shops, or that heart racing moment when he unearthed an incredible deal.
Time went by, his family grew and he became very successful in his career. One day he realized that he could now afford any camera or accessory he desired, but the only thing he still wanted was one particular lens. He already had everything else. Once he bought that lens he would own every single piece of photography paraphernalia he had ever dreamed of. His quest would be complete.
He went down to the camera store — no more having to scour the second hand shops — and quickly found the lens he was looking for. He rolled it across his palm, lovingly turned the dial and then handed it back to the store owner and returned home empty handed.
“Did you get the lens?” his wife asked when he got home.
“No,” he replied.
“Couldn’t you find it?”
“I found it. I just didn’t buy it.”
“But why in the world not?” asked his wife, looking confused.
Feeling a bit foolish, he explained, “I just wanted to enjoy the wanting of it for a little longer.”
It’s the pursuit that brings us happiness. If the coyote had ever caught that roadrunner I think he would have fallen into a terrible stupor.
Well first he would have had a feast, but after be broke out the toothpick and sat back to contemplate his victory he would have become one very depressed coyote. He would miss all his elaborate scheming and the excitement of cracking open all those boxes from Acme.
So c’mon Cadbury, don’t go placing all your eggs in everyone’s basket. It’s bad enough that you’re making us fat, do you need to make us depressed as well?
Shannon McKinnon is a humour columnist from the Peace River country. You can read past columns by visiting www.shannonmckinnon.com