There are a couple of phases to Christmas as we go through life.
The earliest phase is one of the most difficult to understand as we wade through Christmas, so I’ll start with the early years.
Any kid that has yet to grasp walking, talking and basic toilet training at a very basic level probably doesn’t understand Christmas. Check that, the kid has no idea about the concept of Christmas.
Even Einstein and Stephen Hawking took a little time to wrap their heads around the Christmas theory.
Very young children function at a very basic level. They understand heat, cold, hunger and the agony of diaper rash.
We aren’t born to run as human beings. We are simple creatures that rely totally upon other older and smarter creatures.
So why is it that parents go nuts when it comes to presents for newborns and kids just a little south of newborn?
The kid would be just as happy to chew on the box the gift came in- rather than have any reaction to the gift itself.
Let’s face it, you will get more reaction from your cocker spaniel when it comes to Christmas gifts than your new kid.
The kid is just happy to have a full stomach and an empty diaper.
But Spot is going to love his chew toy.
That is the funny thing about kids: people want them to walk and talk right away.
After they master these skills, the parents have a whole different set of challenges, and they will miss the days when junior was mute and immobile.
And here is an outsider’s point of view.
Kids lead pretty dull lives and they rarely have anything interesting to say when they learn to talk-unless you are an actual parent.
They dwell on painfully boring points longer than a barfly at happy hour.
So my conclusion is that Christmas for the very young is actually for new parents.
The rest of us simply get dragged into the ridiculous notion that a human infant connects in even the remotest sense with Christmas.
But things change a few years later in kid world.
A five or six year old gets to ride the biggest Christmas wave of his entire life.
The idea of Santa Claus is fresh and believable at this age. The guy is fat, jolly and generous to a fault, and that is all that any kid needs to know about the Santa Claus.
Sure there is a good conduct clause for kids, but the old guy seems to have a lot of latitude in this department.
Even unbridled hellions have time to turn things around shortly before Christmas.
There is no downside or lack of possibilities when you are a kid at Christmas.
The biggest problem with Christmas is that it takes forever to arrive when you are six years old.
Ten days before Christmas as a kid seems to take longer than ten years before death as an adult-much longer.
Christmas after the real story behind Santa Claus is never quite the same.
The holiday is still a great occasion, but something is lost when Santa gets vaporized by reality and older siblings.
But we are still left with one of the best holidays on the annual calendar in my opinion.
More of Jim Sutherland at mystarcollectorcar.com