Daughter, 47, still lives at home with parents

How can we help a 47-year-old female lawyer who is still living with her parents and cannot go anywhere without her mother?

Dear Annie: How can we help a 47-year-old female lawyer who is still living with her parents and cannot go anywhere without her mother?

“Rhoda” supports her parents. She is a very fine lady and a good lawyer. She was considered for a judgeship appointment, but her fellow lawyers were afraid her parents would run the court for her. Rhoda is a wonderful person, but I am troubled that she is letting her parents ruin her life. They are with her 24 hours a day.

How can I and some other female lawyers help her understand that her future is in jeopardy? — Worried Lawyer Friend

Dear Lawyer: Wise and caring parents encourage their children to be independent, although not all children want to flee the nest. The dynamic between Rhoda and her parents has been in place for 47 years. If she wants to break free, she will likely need therapy to find the strength and the means. Being a lawyer instead of a judge is not a tragic future, and what you might consider a good career move might be too much for Rhoda. Be supportive by accepting her as she is.

Dear Annie: For almost a year, we have been planning a winter vacation with a few good friends. We only wanted to be with three other couples.

We suggested the vacation to “Carrie and Brad,” who thought it was a great idea.

Last weekend, we began narrowing down the list of couples we would like to invite. We chose the third couple and told Carrie and Brad to pick the last one.

They e-mailed that they were “less than thrilled” with our choice, but promised to be “team players.”

Today I got a text from Brad saying they are no longer comfortable with the couple we chose and would prefer not to go with them.

They said they hoped we understood, and that there would be no hard feelings.

I am really hurt, as the other couple includes one of my best girlfriends.

How am I supposed to “uninvite” her? I told Brad I would not do that, and that we would simply not be vacationing together this year.

I do have hard feelings. I want to call Brad and tell him how I really feel, but my husband says no. I know I’ll have a difficult time when I next see him. My husband and I plan to go on vacation with my girlfriend and her husband, and I am sure we will have a lovely time. How do I handle Brad and Carrie? — Frustrated and Needing Advice

Dear Frustrated: You have no cause to be upset with Brad and Carrie.

They told you they did not want to vacation with this other couple, giving you the option of choosing one or the other.

They were kind enough to tell you before you lost any money on the deal. Brad and Carrie are not holding a grudge that you invited a couple they disliked, and neither should you.

Your friends do not have to like each other. In fact, many people have separate circles of friends. We think you should remember not to mix your best girlfriend with Brad and Carrie and forget the rest.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611.

Get local stories you won't find anywhere else right to your inbox.
Sign up here

Just Posted

A candlelight vigil will be held in Red Deer on Thursday to honour the 350-plus people killed in the Easter bombing attack in Sri Lanka. Contributed photo
Candlelight vigil planned for deaths linked to Olymel COVID-19 outbreak

A candlelight vigil is being planned for those who died due to… Continue reading

Red Deer Rebels forward Jaxsen Wiebe battles Calgary Hitmen forward Cael Zimmerman for a loose puck when the two teams squared off in February last season. (Photo by BYRON HACKETT/Advocate Staff)
Calgary Hitmen shutout Red Deer Rebels

Rebels name centre Jayden Grubbe team captain ahead of Friday’s game

Traffic will be delayed on 40th Avenue and 19th Street until the end of February. (Advocate file photo).
Traffic delays expected downtown this weekend

Red Deer drivers will be delayed in the downtown area of the… Continue reading

COVID
Red Deer down to 313 active cases of COVID-19

Alberta reports an additional 411 COVID-19 cases

Bryson, six, and Mara, eight, play with puppies from Dogs With Wings Saturday. (Photo by Sean McIntosh/Advocate staff)
WATCH: Dogs With Wings introduces Red Deer program

A program that trains puppies to be certified service, autism, facility and… Continue reading

Former Toronto Argonauts lineman Chris Schultz remembered as a gentle giant

Former Toronto Argonauts lineman Chris Schultz remembered as a gentle giant

Los Angeles Kings head coach Darryl Sutter, top, is shown on the bench after NHL action against the Clagary Flames  in Calgary, Alta., Thursday April 9, 2015. Sutter says he has "unfinished business" as he returns to coach the Calgary Flames. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Larry MacDougal
Darryl Sutter has ‘unfinished business’ in return to Calgary Flames

Darryl Sutter has ‘unfinished business’ in return to Calgary Flames

Walter Gretzky talks to people while at the funeral of Celtic music legend John Allan Cameron at St. Isaac Jogues Church in Pickering, Ont., Monday, Nov. 27, 2006. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Nathan Denette
‘A legend in his own right’: Hockey world pays tribute to the late Walter Gretzky

‘A legend in his own right’: Hockey world pays tribute to the late Walter Gretzky

Jordan Spieth follows his approach shot to the ninth green during the second round of the Arnold Palmer Invitational golf tournament Friday, March 5, 2021, in Orlando, Fla. (AP Photo/John Raoux)
Conners builds 1-shot lead at Bay Hill as McIlroy lurks

Conners builds 1-shot lead at Bay Hill as McIlroy lurks

Team Canada skip Brad Gushue makes a shot as he plays Team Ontario at the Brier in Calgary, Alta., Friday, March 5, 2021.THE CANADIAN PRESS/Jeff McIntosh
Brier in the Bubble: Defending champion Gushue beats Epping in opening draw

Brier in the Bubble: Defending champion Gushue beats Epping in opening draw

Switzerland's celebrates after the final match at the Women's Curling World Championship in Silkeborg Denmark Sunday March 24. 2019. The 2021 world women's curling championship is back on the curling calendar. THE CANADIAN PRESS/AP, Ritzau Scanpix - Henning Bagger
Women’s world curling championship back on calendar, added to Calgary bubble

Women’s world curling championship back on calendar, added to Calgary bubble

A guard stands outside the gates of an immigrant holding centre in Laval, Que., Monday, Aug. 15, 2016. Several men at a Montreal-area immigration detention refused food this week as part of a protest aimed at drawing attention to what they say are inhumane conditions and to secure their release.THE CANADIAN PRESS/Graham Hughes
Montreal-area immigration detainees on hunger strike over COVID-19 fears

Montreal-area immigration detainees on hunger strike over COVID-19 fears

Minister of National Defence Harjit Sajjan takes part in a year-end interview with The Canadian Press at National Defence Headquarters in Ottawa on Thursday, Dec. 17, 2020. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Sean Kilpatrick
Sajjan aide emailed military ombudsman about allegations days after meeting in 2018

Sajjan aide emailed military ombudsman about allegations days after meeting in 2018

Most Read