Dear Annie: We have a 42-year-old daughter who is on drugs. “Beth” always claims to need money for “doctors, dentists and medicine.”
She has conned us plenty of times.
Beth has a 20-year-old daughter, “Emily,” who now has two little boys, and my husband let them move into my late mother’s house.
He thought Emily would get a job and be able to find her own place.
But she’s still there after four years.
We pay the upkeep and utilities, because Emily never finished high school and can’t find a better paying job.
My husband gets upset about the situation, but feels bad because they have no money.
We are both in our 70s and struggling to pay our bills.
I have told Emily and Beth that we can’t keep doing this.
We go without in order to keep our heads above water, and it’s starting to affect our health.
We also have two other grown daughters.
They have great lives and never ask for anything.
They are angry about what’s going on. Our friends have told my husband to “just say no,” but he can’t seem to do it. How do we get out of this mess and have a peaceful few years? — Desperate in Indiana
Dear Indiana: You are not helping Beth, Emily or yourselves by making them dependent on you.
One day, you won’t be here, and if they haven’t learned to be self-sufficient, those great-grandchildren may be living on the street.
Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org.