Daughter refuses to help out with chores at home

Dear Annie: I am a divorced father and have raised two children alone for the past six years. The kids are now 19 and 16. The problem is chores.

Dear Annie: I am a divorced father and have raised two children alone for the past six years. The kids are now 19 and 16.

The problem is chores.

My son takes out the garbage, feeds the cat, shovels snow in the winter and cuts the grass in the summer. He also brings in the groceries and sets the table.

My 19-year-old daughter, however, is reluctant to even wash a dish. She considers such things to be punishment.

There are times when I don’t get home until after 8:00 p.m. and still have to cook dinner.

I pay my daughter’s tuition bill for college, and when she needs a laptop, she gets it.

Yet, if I ask her to sweep the floors, you’d think I wanted the moon.

She says she doesn’t have time, but if I walk into her bedroom, she’s on Facebook with her friends.

I really don’t think 20 minutes a day is too much to ask for providing a roof over her head and food on the table. Other than this, we have a great relationship.

Both kids are respectful, polite and funny and make it easier for me to work because they can take care of themselves.

Ours is the house where everyone “hangs out,” and I’m fine with that. Talking to my daughter does nothing but create stress for everyone involved. Any suggestions? — Frustrated Dad

Dear Dad: Try allowing your daughter to be part of the process.

Have a family conference, and calmly explain that maintaining the household is a joint effort and requires everyone’s participation.

Make a list of chores, and ask your children to divide them with you so that no one is overly burdened. If she still refuses to cooperate, you have other choices.

You can tie her tuition and other expenses to what she does around the house, you can tell her she has to get a job and pay rent, or you can ask her to move out. Living independently can often ward off problems at home.

Dear Annie: I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 18 months. Recently, I was caught off guard. I was at my cousin’s house watching a movie.

She left the room for a few minutes, and while she was gone, her phone buzzed with a text message from my boyfriend’s number. He asked if he could see her again because he “had a great time the other night.”

Should I confront them, or should I stop jumping to conclusions and wait to see the outcome? — Not Sure What To Think

Dear Not Sure: Oh, let’s not wait. It’s possible someone else was texting from your boyfriend’s phone, or there could be an innocent explanation for their evening together, but you have a right to know what’s going on.

Dear Annie: Your column on vaginal dryness came 20 years too late for my wife, rest her wonderful soul, who passed away three years ago. During the last 18 years, we slept in separate bedrooms. We still loved each other, but it could have been so much more fulfilling.

She suffered from vaginal dryness, but was extremely prudish and inhibited and never mentioned this to her physician.

We both were old-fashioned, and in those days, things were not as openly discussed as they are today. Had they been, we might have had many more years of bliss. I could have resorted to porn movies, but that is only another killer of happy, satisfying marital relations.

I hope other couples in situations like mine read that interesting column and learned from it. — California

Dear California: We are always impressed with the advice and comfort that come from our readers. We are sorry it was too late for your wife, but we know it will help someone else.

Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045.

Get local stories you won't find anywhere else right to your inbox.
Sign up here

Just Posted

Red Deer College (Contributed photo)
RDC tuitions to go up 7%

Tuition increase the maximum allowed under provincial rules

This unicorn was stolen from the small community of Delia, northeast of Drumheller on Friday and was recovered, with its bronze horn broken off, on Saturday. RCMP are looking for information on the suspects.
(Photo from RCMP)
Unicorn statue stolen from Delia recovered

Statue found with horn broken off in field about 15 km from Delia

(Advocate file photo)
Lacombe man whose manslaughter sentence was rejected by judge has new lawyer

Judge rejected proposed seven-year sentence for manslaughter in connection with 2019 homicide

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau holds a news conference at Rideau cottage in Ottawa, on Friday, March 13, 2020. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Fred Chartrand
Liberals to release federal budget with eye on managing crisis, post-pandemic growth

OTTAWA — The federal government will this afternoon unveil its spending plans… Continue reading

Patches are seen on the arm and shoulder of a corrections officer in the segregation unit at the Fraser Valley Institution for Women during a media tour, in Abbotsford, B.C., on Thursday, Oct. 26, 2017. Correctional Service Canada says three inmates at Fraser Valley Institution recently tested positive for COVID-19. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Darryl Dyck
Drumheller Institution inmate dies in custody

Inmate’s April 15 death under investigation

A vial of the Medicago vaccine sits on a surface. CARe Clinic, located in Red Deer, has been selected to participate in the third phase of vaccine study. (Photo courtesy www.medicago.com)
Red Deer clinical research centre participating in plant-based COVID-19 vaccine trial

A Red Deer research centre has been selected to participate in the… Continue reading

In this Feb. 24, 2020, photo, the Olympics rings are reflected on the window of a hotel restaurant as a server with a mask sets up a table, in the Odaiba section of Tokyo. The vaccine rollout in Japan has been very slow with less than 1% vaccinated. This of course is spilling over to concerns about the postponed Tokyo Olympics that open in just over three months.(AP Photo/Jae C. Hong, File)
Will Japanese Olympians be vaccinated ahead of the public?

TOKYO — The vaccine rollout in Japan has been very slow with… Continue reading

PSG's Kylian Mbappe, right, greets Bayern's Lucas Hernandez at the end of the Champions League, second leg, quarterfinal soccer match between Paris Saint Germain and Bayern Munich at the Parc des Princes stadium, in Paris, France, Tuesday, April 13, 2021. (AP Photo/Francois Mori)
PSG, Bayern the big names missing from Super League plan

DÜSSELDORF, Germany — The plan for the new Super League soccer competition… Continue reading

In this image released by Paramount Pictures, Marion Cotillard, left, and Brad Pitt appear in a scene from "Allied." (Daniel Smith/Paramount Pictures via AP)
Leo Carax’s ‘Annette’ to open Cannes Film Festival

Leo Carax’s “Annette,” starring Marion Cotillard and Adam Driver, will open the… Continue reading

From left, Producer Doug Mitchell, actor Chris Hemsworth and director George Miller attend at a press conference to announce the new "Mad Max" film at Fox Studios Australia in Sydney, Monday, April 19, 2021. (Mick Tsikas/AAP Image via AP)
‘Mad Max’ prequel shot in Outback to be released in 2023

SYDNEY, Australia — A prequel to the “Mad Max” movie franchise starring… Continue reading

In this Feb. 1, 2021 file photo, emissions from a coal-fired power plant are silhouetted against the setting sun in Independence, Mo. President Joe Biden faces a vexing task as he convenes a virtual climate summit on Thursday. He is expected to present a nonbinding but symbolic goal to reduce greenhouse gas emissions that will have a tangible impact not only on climate change efforts in the U.S. but throughout the world. (AP Photo/Charlie Riedel, File)
Biden pressed on emissions goal as climate summit nears

WASHINGTON — When President Joe Biden convenes a virtual climate summit on… Continue reading

Women wearing masks wait near an advertisement ahead of the Auto Shanghai 2021 show in Shanghai on Sunday, April 18, 2021. Automakers from around the world are showcasing their latest products this week in the world's biggest market for auto vehicles. (AP Photo/Ng Han Guan)
VW, Ford unveil SUVs at China auto show under virus controls

SHANGHAI — Volkswagen, Ford and Chinese brands unveiled new SUVs for China… Continue reading

Investigators from the Vancouver Police Department were in Chilliwack Saturday, collecting evidence connected to a double homicide. (file photo)
Police investigate shooting death of man outside downtown Vancouver restaurant

Vancouver police say one man was killed in what they believe was… Continue reading

Dr. E. Kwok administers a COVID-19 vaccine to a recipient at a vaccination clinic run by Vancouver Coastal Health, in Richmond, B.C., Saturday, April 10, 2021. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Jonathan Hayward
B.C. to start registering people 18 years and older for COVID-19 vaccines

VICTORIA — The British Columbia government says it’s inviting people 18 years… Continue reading

Most Read