Don’t admit to disability during job interview

I am currently interviewing for a position with several different companies in different industries.

Dear Annie: I am currently interviewing for a position with several different companies in different industries.

I have diagnosed learning disabilities and want to know when the correct time is to mention my disabilities to the interviewer.

Do I tell them during the first interview or wait until I am hired? If I tell them, am I risking the position because they may not want to accommodate a person with a disability? — Disabled But Not Disqualified

Dear DBND: You are not legally required to disclose your disability at the interview or any other time. And the interviewer is not permitted to ask.

If you are qualified for the job and can do the work, your disability should not be an issue, so don’t make it one.

Dear Annie: I am a newly married woman and am writing about my husband, who refuses to see a doctor for a potentially life-threatening issue. In fact, he refuses to see any doctor at all. I am not aware that he has any specific fear of doctors, so this puzzles me.

I believe my husband has severe sleep apnea. It began with a 20-pound weight gain and light snoring.

It has graduated to my being punched and elbowed regularly, and he does what I call the “alligator death roll” all night. Not to mention, I don’t get much sleep because his snoring and breath holding cause him to wake up choking and coughing, sometimes until he vomits.

My father had one of the worst cases of sleep apnea ever diagnosed by the Mayo Clinic and suffered for years.

He had debilitating heart attacks in his sleep, ultimately ending his life. I know how dangerous this disorder can be if it remains untreated. How can I get my husband to understand the risk?

To top it all off, he is a smoker and clearly has the beginnings of emphysema. His hearing is “HUH?”– horrible – and his vision borders on legally blind. We have excellent private health insurance, which is a blessing, and he has no excuse not to seek medical help.

I am 40 and he is 51. I did not marry the love of my life to lose him because he is a stubborn mule.

While my main concern is his well-being, this is taking its toll on our marriage, as well. He reads your column faithfully every morning. Maybe if he sees it in writing, he won’t feel like I’m mothering him. – Sleepless in Salem, Ore.

Dear Sleepless: Your husband isn’t simply stubborn.

He’s scared to death and probably a little depressed, as well. He thinks a trip to the doctor will confirm his worst fears. But a diagnosis is not a death sentence, and sleep apnea can be treated successfully (although if he continues to smoke, it will be harder). Without treatment, respiratory illnesses can create tremendous suffering for both of you.

=Since you cannot force him to be courageous enough to face his fears, we suggest you sleep in another room and make sure his life insurance is paid up.

Dear Annie: This is in response to “Stunk Out, Turned Off and Not Laughing,” whose husband lets out “fluffies” at the dinner table, saying “all men do it” and that his father was the same way.

My father was born in 1905 and raised on a farm in South Dakota. When he felt the urge, he left the dinner table and went into another room.

I also remember him saying “excuse me” when he returned. My husband was born in 1955 and, after 27 years and 12 strokes, still excuses himself from the table when he has to pass gas. So all men don’t do it.

Now, my ex-husband was another matter, but then, he still calls women “broads.” Guess they aren’t all keepers. – Mrs. Manners

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net.

Get local stories you won't find anywhere else right to your inbox.
Sign up here

Just Posted

Members of the Red Deer RCMP downtown patrol monitor for drug activity and property crimes. (Advocate file photo).
Two peace officers are training to join Red Deer’s downtown police patrol unit

This “integrated” unit will be the first in Alberta

Students and staff at Gateway Christian School wore pink Wednesday in support of Pink Shirt Day, a worldwide anti-bullying initiative that was started in 2007. (Photo courtesy of Red Deer Public Schools)
Students celebrate Pink Shirt Day

All across the province, Albertans wore pink Wednesday to celebrate Pink Shirt… Continue reading

File photo
Another new high: Red Deer hits 574 active COVID-19 cases

Province reports 13 new COVID-19 deaths, 430 new cases

A homeless shelter was promised Red Deer to help the city deal with downtown issues. The city and province finally released a signed agreement on what the facility will offer, a year after a $7 million commitment was made for the project by the province. (Advocate file photo).
City and province take next step in bringing a 24/7 shelter to Red Deer

It will include a detox and counselling services

A health-care worker prepares a dose of the Pfizer-BioNTech COVID-19 vaccine at a UHN COVID-19 vaccine clinic in Toronto on Thursday, January 7, 2021. A new survey says eroding trust in scientists, CEOs and journalists could hamper the rollout of the COVID-19 vaccine in Canada. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Nathan Denette
9 Red Deer pharmacies set to offer COVID-19 vaccine to seniors next week

Seniors in Red Deer and Central Alberta will have more access to… Continue reading

Meteor spotted over Edmonton, Alta., on Feb. 22, 2021 by several, who took to social media to share their surveillance camera captures. (@KixxAxe/Twitter)
VIDEO: Fireball meteor streaks across sky, spotted by early-morning risers in Alberta, B.C.

Videos of the quick streak of light flashing across the sky before 6:30 a.m. MST

Email editor@interior-news.com
Letter: Read up on tax report

The Advocate article published Feb. 20 about the Canadian Taxpayers Federation slamming… Continue reading

Opinion
Opinion: When Kenney promises no tax hike, does he mean it?

Premier Jason Kenney is trying to assure Albertans that there won’t be… Continue reading

kkk
Budget opinion: Cutting advanced education funding will stunt region growth

The Alberta budget expected to be tabled this week follows a year… Continue reading

Alberta Premier Jason Kenney makes his way to the chamber in Edmonton on Friday, March 20, 2020. Kenney says a recent bump in energy prices in the third quarter of the budget is helping the bottom line as his government prepares to introduce its 2021-22 budget. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Jason Franson
Higher oil prices boosting Alberta’s bottom line as budget looms Thursday: Kenney

EDMONTON — Premier Jason Kenney says a recent bump in energy prices… Continue reading

Montreal Canadiens head coach Claude Julien gives instructions during practice in Brossard, Que., Tuesday, July 14, 2020. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Ryan Remiorz
CP NewsAlert: Montreal Canadiens fire head coach Claude Julien

Assistant coach appointed interim head coach

(Photo by THE CANADIAN PRESS)
NFB hiring new execs to lead anti-racist practices, forge ties with Indigenous groups

TORONTO — The National Film Board of Canada is creating two key… Continue reading

The cast of “Schitt’s Creek” pose for a photo after winning the Award for Best Comedy Series at the Canadian Screen Awards in Toronto on March 31, 2019. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Chris Young
‘Schitt’s Creek’ earns third consecutive ensemble win at ACTRA Toronto Awards

Tamara Podemski won outstanding performance by a female on ‘Coroner’

Most Read