Email discloses naughty behaviour

Five months ago, my girlfriend went to a job conference in Texas. When she came back, she used my computer and accidentally left her email open.

Dear Annie: Five months ago, my girlfriend went to a job conference in Texas.

When she came back, she used my computer and accidentally left her email open.

I found numerous pictures of her business trip, and several are of her sitting on the lap of another man.

She looks happy and he has his hands wrapped around her. The last picture, the most worrisome, is of her standing up and hugging this man, looking at him as if they were about to kiss.

I snooped a little more and found an email from him telling her how special she was and that he “never went that far with a woman before at these conferences.”

My girlfriend told me that her married co-worker was kissing another man.

I heard another co-worker say, “What happens in Texas stays in Texas.”

I haven’t mentioned anything about what I saw on the computer because I want to give my girlfriend the opportunity to tell me herself. I get the impression this secret is eating her up, and the result is, we are having serious problems.

So, how do I tell her I’ve read her e-mail? — Confused in Tulsa

Dear Tulsa: Honestly and soon. Tell your girlfriend she left her email open after her trip and you saw the photographs of her with the other man.

If she admits everything and you trust that she is telling the whole truth, you have a chance to put your relationship back on track.

Otherwise, sorry to say, it’s headed south.

Dear Annie: I am a 50-something woman who has been single for nearly 20 years.

I hadn’t even had a date in the current century and filled my time with work, grown children, friends, volunteer activities and hobbies. I was lonely, but figured no relationship is better than a bad one.

Recently, I became involved with a man who is 20 years younger.

It’s been fantastic, and honestly, we’re just two people.

I don’t notice the age difference when I’m with him.

I’m not writing for advice, because things are great right now. I have no expectations for a long-term future and am concentrating on living in the moment.

But I would like to hear from your readers who have been in this situation and ask how they handled difficulties, especially from their families. I realize his parents and my children have concerns about emotional turmoil and possible financial opportunism, but shouldn’t they be glad their loved one has companionship?

We see lots of older men with younger women. Is there a double standard of acceptance? — Not Harold and Maude

Dear Not Maude: Yes, as we often see in Hollywood, where older leading men are frequently (and sometimes ridiculously) paired with much younger women.

But society can become accustomed to all kinds of combinations, including yours, and our mail indicates there are a great many older women who are quite happy with younger men. Any readers who want to weigh in are welcome to do so.

Dear Annie: “Desperate” wrote that his “incredible” wife of 25 years won’t have sex with him, won’t talk about it and won’t go for counselling.

You said it might be a hormonal imbalance. I’d like to know what hormonal imbalance makes a woman discount her husband’s pleading.

Is there a hormone that causes cruelty, selfishness, hypocrisy and narcissism?

She’s got issues about sex, and it’s only fair she try to work on them.

Her husband is 52, and unless he wants to be “desperate” for another 30 years, he needs to lay down an ultimatum: either she goes to counselling and gives it a real shot, or she grants him a divorce.

There might be someone out there who thinks he’s “incredible,” and it would be nice if he finds her while he still has his own teeth. — John in L.A.

Dear John: We agree that his wife is being unreasonable, but unless he is willing to give her that ultimatum, he can only work on his response to the situation.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611.

Just Posted

PHOTOS: Buccaneers battle Wolfpack in AFL semifinal

The Central Alberta Buccaneers battled the Calgary Wolfpack in the Alberta Football… Continue reading

Raising awareness for Bikers Against Child Abuse

Second annual Raise A Ruckus Against Child Abuse was held at the Red Deer Radisson Hotel Saturday

Central Alberta Yogathon cancelled Saturday

Due to air quality concerns the fourth annual event will take place Sept. 15

City Hall Park construction begins next week

Construction to update Red Deer’s City Hall Park is set to begin… Continue reading

PHOTOS: Jazz at the Lake begins

The 16 annual event began Friday and runs until Sunday in Sylvan Lake

WATCH: Medicine River Wildlife Centre opens new playground

The grand opening of the playground was Saturday morning

Thousands to attend funeral service for officers killed in Fredericton shooting

FREDERICTON — Hundreds of people have lined the route of a funeral… Continue reading

Calgary police officer seriously injured

CALGARY — The Calgary Police Service says one of its officers was… Continue reading

Canadians react to death of former UN secretary-general Kofi Annan at age 80

MONTREAL — Canadian politicians are adding their voices to the international reaction… Continue reading

‘Four of a dozen kids will not make it:’ Tina Fontaine’s family healing together

WINNIPEG — Melissa Stevenson was just starting her career 18 years ago… Continue reading

No winning ticket for Friday night’s $16 million Lotto Max jackpot

TORONTO — No winning ticket was sold for the $16 million jackpot… Continue reading

Hundreds of neo-Nazis march in Berlin, protected by police

BERLIN — Hundreds of neo-Nazis waving flags with the colours of the… Continue reading

Romanian trucker is Genoa bridge’s 43rd victim

GENOA, Italy — The Latest on the Italy bridge collapse (all times… Continue reading

1 dead, 6 injured after building collapse in Nigeria capital

ABUJA, Nigeria — An emergency response chief says one person is dead… Continue reading

Most Read

Five-day delivery plus unlimited digital access for $185 for 260 issues (must live in delivery area to qualify) Unlimited Digital Access 99 cents for the first four weeks and then only $15 per month Five-day delivery plus unlimited digital access for $15 a month