Dear Annie: My husband and I have a good friend, “Steve,” who is a manager at a company where my husband used to work.
My husband is still pretty close to a lot of the people there.
Steve has access to the property 24/7 and has been stealing cash from the company.
There is absolutely no accountability in his position and plenty of ways to cover his tracks so no one will be the wiser.
My question is, should we tell the general manager what we know or just look away? It kills me that Steve is taking money and who knows what else and getting away with it, especially since he is in a management position and should know better.
If we inform the GM, should we do it anonymously by letter and let him check it out, or should we tell him in person? — Know Too Much
Dear Know: Are you 100 per cent certain Steve is stealing? If so, the GM should be informed. If you are willing to risk your friendship with Steve in order to talk directly with the GM, by all means, do so.
Otherwise, an anonymous letter, e-mail or phone call will alert him to the problem. After that, it’s up to him.
Dear Annie: You weren’t tough enough with “Concerned Mother,” who worried about whether her husband’s persistent verbal and physical abuse of their five-year-old son would have any effect on his self-esteem.
With an abusive father and a clueless mother, this poor boy is lucky if he doesn’t spend the rest of his life on a therapist’s couch.
The father is re-enacting his own miserable childhood, and even if she could get him to a therapist, it won’t change him enough to undo the damage already done.
If that mother wants mentally healthy children, she should start packing all their bags now. — Been There
Dear Been There: Nothing can undo what’s been done, but if Dad can learn to change his behaviour (and it’s possible), a healthy, intact family would be the best outcome.
Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611.