How can we see our grandkids?

Our son, “Luc,” has been married for 22 years, but the last two have been under the most trying circumstances. Luc’s marriage is a sham, and they are both at fault.

Dear Annie: Our son, “Luc,” has been married for 22 years, but the last two have been under the most trying circumstances. Luc’s marriage is a sham, and they are both at fault.

He and my daughter-in-law are unhappy, but continue to live together for the sake of their two teenage children.

Our daughter-in-law is a control freak and fiercely competitive.

She lacks warmth, compassion, understanding and any appreciation of Luc’s qualities and needs.

In turn, our son has developed a roving eye in an effort to make up for what is lacking within the marriage.

Matters came to a head two years ago when our daughter-in-law realized she had lost her husband’s affection.

She wanted revenge and not only banished Luc to the basement, but blamed us for the failure of their marriage.

She sent us a viciously worded e-mail to that effect, and anything we ever gave them was tossed or returned, including a family grand piano, which was a gift to our grandchildren.

For two years, our son and grandchildren have not been allowed to contact us.

All cards and gifts are returned unopened.

Luc communicates with us surreptitiously from his office, but otherwise, his hands are tied, as he wishes to protect his children from additional unpleasantness.

They saw a marriage counsellor, but his wife refuses to go back.

This situation is breaking our hearts. What can we do? — Desperate Grandparents in Canada

Dear Grandparents: Not much.

Your daughter-in-law already dislikes you, and any additional interference will only make things worse for your son.

Since you are in touch with Luc, encourage him to continue with marriage counselling, with or without his wife, and be supportive of whatever choices he feels obligated to make.

This type of situation is terribly sad, but not uncommon.

We hope when the children are grown, things will change.

Dear Annie: I am 55 and married to a verbally abusive man.

When I threaten to leave, he will be better for a while, but soon the yelling starts again.

The last time I said I had no feelings for him and wanted a divorce, he threatened to harm me and burn down our house.

I am not allowed to be with any of my friends.

So I went online and found “Jim.” He has been very supportive and a good friend.

We’ve never met, although we e-mail and talk on the phone regularly.

We are in love and want to be together.

How do I leave my husband? I am scared to death of him. — Unhappy

Dear Unhappy: If your husband is threatening you, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline (ndvh.org) at 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233) for help. Do it right now. Meanwhile, you are playing with fire by becoming romantically entangled with Jim. Please cool it until you figure out what you are going to do with your marriage.

Dear Annie: I think I will gag if I hear one more woman whine that her live-in boyfriend won’t marry her. Here’s some advice: Don’t move in with him in the first place! There’s an old saying, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?”

Move on, ladies, and find someone who respects you without having to hop into bed with them. Respect yourself first, and you will in turn be respected. Treat your body like a temple. Don’t disrespect your temple by settling for less than the best, which includes a wedding band on your finger. — Happily Married in Fargo

Dear Fargo: We support marriage, especially when children are involved, but unfortunately, a wedding band is no guarantee of a solid relationship.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611.

Just Posted

Lacombe council seeking answers about policing cost overruns

Council surprised to find out about $240,000 policing budget shortfall

Red Deer fundraiser to help educate Somali orphans on May 11

The Mother’s Day event is for all ages

Lacombe to join municipal coalition spreading the word about importance of resource industry

Resources Communities of Canada Coalition to represent municipalities connected to resource industry

These blues will get you dancing: The Overdue Blues Band performs in Red Deer Saturday

Calgary’s Brother Ray Lemelin Band is also on Elks Lodge bill

Gardening: Time and effort key to buying garden plants

Greenhouses, garden centers and box stores are set to start selling bedding… Continue reading

Montreal native Nicholas Latifi off to solid start on Formula 2 race circuit

Practice makes perfect for Canadian Nicholas Latifi. The 23-year-old Montreal auto racer… Continue reading

Bruins victory over Leafs ensures an American team will hoist the Stanley Cup

TORONTO — Many NHL players were either not yet born or too… Continue reading

Swole, buzzy, among new words in Merriam-Webster dictionary

BOSTON — Get swole, prepare a bug-out bag, grab a go-cup and… Continue reading

Garner graces cover of People’s annual ‘Beautiful Issue’

NEW YORK — Jennifer Garner graces the front of this year’s “Beautiful… Continue reading

Updated: Joshua Arthur Sanford has been found, says RCMP

37-year-old Ponoka man last seen on Tuesday morning

Inspired by a galaxy far, far away, these ‘Star Wars’ mementos could be yours forever

CHICAGO —The stuff of “Star Wars” —and there is unfortunately no better… Continue reading

Shoppers Drug Mart launches second online medical pot portal in Alberta

TORONTO — Medical cannabis users in Alberta can now get their therapeutic… Continue reading

Most Read