Husband being difficult

Dear Annie: My husband, Don, and I have been married for over 35 years and have five grown children.

Dear Annie: My husband, Don, and I have been married for over 35 years and have five grown children.

Don is a difficult person. When he is around, we all walk on eggshells. To protect the children, I have always been the peacemaker. Things have eased up since the children moved out, but Don has no friends and has become a recluse.

My problem now is that we live like roommates unless he wants sex or a good meal. There is very little emotional engagement, and I am thinking seriously of ending the marriage.

I’ve tried to get him to counseling, but he refuses. He blames me for the problems in our marriage. Don never accepts responsibility for the pain and suffering he has caused.

He’s accused me of affairs with other men and even women. He is jealous that I make friends easily and doesn’t like it when I have anyone over.

Any love I once had for him is buried in anger, bitterness and resentment. I am tired and feel the need to move on, but I don’t know how to do it. Any suggestions? — Burned Out

Dear Burned Out:Staying in a bad marriage for 35 years can take a toll.

Your husband may not realize how close you are to leaving, and he seems too stubborn to make the effort to fix things.

Don’t wait for him to agree to counseling. Go without him. Simply unburdening yourself to a professional can be beneficial, and it will help you work through your feelings and reach a decision about your next step.

Dear Annie: When my husband comes home from work, he throws his keys, wallet and change all over the counters, so I got him a small basket called the “Rob Box” specifically for this purpose.

The problem is, he also throws his wedding ring in with the change, keys and whatever other garbage accumulates in his pockets.

I am religious and see the ring as a sign of our love and commitment, so it bothers me that he treats it in a disrespectful way. He insists he is doing nothing wrong because he wears it whenever he leaves the house.

Annie, if he doesn’t want to keep it on, I would prefer that he leave it in a jewelry box where it won’t be damaged or wedged under his cell phone and a mountain of change. He promised to find a new spot, but nothing has changed. Am I being too uptight, or is he being insensitive? — The Bride

Dear Bride: A little of both. Since he wears the ring when he leaves the house, we wouldn’t worry that he removes it when he returns home.

(It’s possible the ring doesn’t fit him comfortably and a jeweler could help.) However, we certainly understand not wanting to risk losing it under a pile of junk. Try placing a very small container next to the Rob Box and ask him to drop the wedding band there. We think he’ll try to do that for you.

Please e-mail your questions to, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611.

Just Posted

City Hall Park construction begins next week

Construction to update Red Deer’s City Hall Park is set to begin… Continue reading

PHOTOS: Jazz at the Lake begins

The 16 annual event began Friday and runs until Sunday in Sylvan Lake

Photos: Lunchtime tunes on Alexander Way

Final concert of the summer

Clearwater regional firefighters in B.C.

Crew operating west of Prince George

PHOTOS: Samson Cree Nation Pow Wow

The Samson Cree Nation hosted its annual Pow Wow, celebrating youth last weekend

WATCH: Feasting at Red Deer Ribfest this weekend

Ribfest runs until Sunday at Rotary Recreation Park

Canadians believe in immigration but concerned about asylum seekers: study

OTTAWA — Canadians are generally supportive of current immigration levels, a survey… Continue reading

Quebec announces plan to compensate taxi drivers after Uber’s arrival

MONTREAL — The Quebec government has outlined how it intends to compensate… Continue reading

Hospitals to see ‘delays’ in care after losing Saudi students, health group says

OTTAWA — The loss of Saudi Arabian resident physicians in Canada’s hospitals… Continue reading

PHOTOS: B.C. city wakes up to darkness under wildfire smoke

The rest of the province also dealing with thick haze as smoky skies continue

Death Valley worker has seen highest, lowest temperatures

LAS VEGAS — Thousands of tourists descend on Death Valley each summer… Continue reading

Banff’s Sunshine ski resort upset with proposed guidelines from Parks Canada

BANFF, Alta. — An internationally known ski resort in Banff National Park… Continue reading

Folk singer Ian Tyson cancels show due to ‘serious medical situation’

TORONTO — Canadian folk singer-songwriter Ian Tyson has cancelled his appearance at… Continue reading

Judge lifts publication ban, revealing details about Fredericton shooting

FREDERICTON — Newly released documents reveal how last week’s deadly attack unfolded… Continue reading

Most Read

Five-day delivery plus unlimited digital access for $185 for 260 issues (must live in delivery area to qualify) Unlimited Digital Access 99 cents for the first four weeks and then only $15 per month Five-day delivery plus unlimited digital access for $15 a month