Husband caught with stock boy

Dear Annie: My husband, “Jonas,” and I own a small antique store that we have successfully operated for five years.

Dear Annie: My husband, “Jonas,” and I own a small antique store that we have successfully operated for five years.

We have no kids and have always been very close. However, for the past two months our love life has been a little rocky. Jonas has not shown any interest in sex even though I have given him every opportunity. Of course, we both have two full-time jobs with the antique shop on the side, so there’s not much time for intimacy.

We recently hired extra help at the shop so we’d have more time together. One day last week, I walked in after hours and heard noises coming from the upstairs storage area. When I bravely investigated with a baseball bat, I opened the door and, to my horror, saw my husband and the recently hired stock boy having sex. When Jonas saw me standing there, he had nothing to say.

Annie, I am distraught but still in love with him. Jonas and I went for counseling, but he stopped after two sessions, saying there was no problem. I continued on my own. I have confronted him about the incident, and he says he doesn’t know why he did it. I recently moved into our guest bedroom and have been avoiding Jonas until I can find a way to forgive him. In my wildest dreams, I never would have imagined this. We’ve been married 20 years. Should I stay with him or get a divorce? Could this mean he is homosexual? — Distraught and in Love

Dear Distraught: Yes, Jonas could be homosexual. At the very least, he’s bisexual and his attraction to men is not likely to disappear. Since you don’t know how many extramarital encounters Jonas has had, please get checked for STDs. Then ask him once again to go with you for counselling, and if he refuses, we hope you will keep seeking help. You have some tough decisions ahead.

Dear Annie: My dear friend “Susan” wants to come visit me this summer and stay for two weeks. The problem is, Susan is such a chatterbox that I don’t think I can even take two days of her.

I know this sounds harsh, but I don’t want her visit to be miserable for me. The thing is, she never used to talk so incessantly when we were younger. Should I say something or just keep my mouth shut? — Stressed About Summer

Dear Stressed: You are not obligated to host Susan for two weeks if it’s more than you can take. It’s perfectly OK to say, “I’d love to have you, but I can only spare a few days.” Since her constant talking is a recent development, you also might gently inquire whether she’s seen her doctor lately, is depressed or lonely, or is suffering from a hearing loss and covering it up with a multitude of words.

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Florida Sister,” whose brother managed to get his hands on the family heirlooms. I applaud your efforts to encourage the siblings to talk before taking legal action. Although courts are equipped to declare “winners” and “losers,” all will lose money over the fight, and the family bonds may be lost forever just by taking the brother to court.

Another option is help from a professional mediator, trained and experienced in the process. Mediation can be very useful in a situation like the one described. If a family has little or no money, a community mediation center might help. Otherwise, people can get advice about how to select a mediator from the Association for Conflict Resolution, an international professional organization at acrnet.org/referrals. — Jane Beddall, M.A., J.D., Connecticut

Dear Jane Beddall: Thank you for the suggestion and information. Mediation can often resolve such issues without necessitating a legal battle.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611.

Just Posted

Red Deer group looking to keep roads safe for cyclists

A Red Deer cycling group is concerned about road safety after multiple… Continue reading

Smoke and pets do not mix

Take care of your pets during the smoky weather

Former Red Deer lawyer sentenced

Charges included possession of stolen property

Man causes mischief with axe in Ponoka

Arson and attempted break and enter charges laid

WATCH: Raising money for kids at the Gord Bamford Charity Golf Classic

Former NHL players, Olympians, pro rodeo circuit members and musicians teed off… Continue reading

Oilpatch fears delays as U.S. judge orders further review of KXL pipeline route

CALGARY — Potential delays in the completion of the Keystone XL pipeline… Continue reading

‘Queen of Soul’ Aretha Franklin dies at 76

NEW YORK — Aretha Franklin, the undisputed “Queen of Soul” who sang… Continue reading

Arrests in Burnaby, B.C., as order against Kinder Morgan protest camp enforced

BURNABY, B.C. — The RCMP arrested protesters Thursday as officers enforced a… Continue reading

‘Hot and dirty work:’ Commander describes fighting massive Ontario wildfire

BRITT, Ont. — From a helicopter flying over a smouldering swath of… Continue reading

Calgary Fire Department logs record opioid overdose calls in July

CALGARY — The Calgary Fire Department says there were a record number… Continue reading

RCMP in Burnaby, B.C., say Kinder Morgan protest camp to be dismantled

BURNABY, B.C. — The RCMP arrested protesters when officers enforced a court… Continue reading

Study: Smokers better off quitting, even with weight gain

NEW YORK — If you quit smoking and gain weight, it may… Continue reading

Most Read


Five-day delivery plus unlimited digital access for $185 for 260 issues (must live in delivery area to qualify) Unlimited Digital Access 99 cents for the first four weeks and then only $15 per month Five-day delivery plus unlimited digital access for $15 a month