Dear Annie: What do you do when you have been with someone for almost 40 years and he keeps becoming infatuated with other women?
A few years ago, my husband became interested in a woman young enough to be his daughter.
He called her at all hours, and the emails were never-ending. He’d sneak out to meet her and lie about where he had been. He even kissed her every time they met, although he claimed he was too old to do anything more.
I think this woman actually loved him. When he ended it, I thought he was finally maturing. He is now infatuated with someone else. This time it’s text messaging, phone calls and emails, and attending functions where she is present.
Sometimes he even takes me with him. And the kissing continues. She encourages him. When confronted, he claims it’s all in my head and nothing is going on. I am ready to explode. I am not leaving, but he certainly is welcome to.
My life with him has been no bed of roses, but I thought when he got older things would improve. But instead of physical and verbal abuse, I now have to put up with emotional abuse.
He sees nothing wrong with this. Don’t bother recommending counselling.
I’m not interested. I would simply like him to leave so I can have some peace in my older years. — Needed To Vent
Dear Vent: So ask him to leave. Or get your own apartment.
Or file for a legal separation or divorce. You have several options to gain your “peace,” and we recommend you take one. There’s no reason to continue putting up with this.
Dear Annie: My grown son lives several hours away, but we keep in contact through phone, email and text.
When I spoke with my father yesterday, I discovered he had generously signed over one of his vehicles to my son.
This transaction took place more than a week ago, and yet my son made no mention of it.
I knew he must have been very excited and sent him an email saying I had just heard the good news, although I was hurt that he hadn’t said anything.
His response absolutely floored me.
He said he didn’t understand why my feelings were hurt, since the transaction was between his grandfather and him and didn’t concern me.
I am beside myself. Am I being unrealistic, or was this an extremely rude response? — California
Dear California: Sorry, Mom. Your son is a grown man.
He is entitled to acquire a car from Grandpa or anyone else without telling you about it. It doesn’t mean he isn’t close to you.
But the sooner you can respect his independence and privacy the less likely your feelings are to be hurt.