Dear Annie: My daughter is engaged to my boss’s son, who also works for the company. On a recent out-of-town business trip, I observed my future son-in-law taking a “lady of the evening” into his hotel room. He did not see me.
Should I tell my daughter about this? If she confronts her fiance, he will know where the information came from because I was the only other person from the office on the trip. I am almost certain to lose my job if I speak up.
I am torn between looking out for myself and looking out for my daughter. Maybe the son’s behaviour was just a one-time thing and after he is married, he won’t do it again. How should I handle this? — Mr. T.
Dear Mr. T.: We realize you don’t want to put your job at risk, but your daughter needs to know. Not only is her fiance jeopardizing their relationship, but also her health.
He could pass along a sexually transmitted disease. That doesn’t mean, however, that she should be insensitive to your situation.
Talk to her calmly and privately. Say you believe you saw her fiance with another woman, but you aren’t 100 per cent sure what was going on.
Then leave it alone.
Don’t bring it up at the office. If your boss (or his son) should mention anything, make it clear that it’s between your daughter and her fiance and you don’t intend to become involved in any disagreements they have.
Dear Annie: We invited friends to spend the week with us to celebrate the Mardi Gras festivities in our area. We even reserved a condo on the beach.
The first night we went to dinner together, and the next day we spent time with them at a parade, but after that we did not see them much.
Each morning they were up and gone before we got out of bed.
When we ran into them during a street party, they barely spent three minutes with us and then headed off again.
I feel like we were used for a free vacation.
This is my husband’s best friend and his wife, but I don’t care to see them again. My husband agreed that they were rude, but he’s much more forgiving.
Do I just let it go? Do I not invite them back? How do I get even so they can see how badly they behaved? — Steamed Like Crawfish
Dear Steamed: We’re not in favour of “getting even.” You’ll feel terrible afterward.
Is it possible your guests thought they were doing you a favour by entertaining themselves? Some people have an exaggerated sense of imposing on others.
You can tell them you are sorry they didn’t spend more time in your company, and we don’t recommend you invite them back for a visit any time soon.
But please don’t stand in the way of your husband’s friendship with his best pal.
Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611.