There’s something about the Thanksgiving weekend that just causes a person to be, well, thankful. For one thing, it lands firmly in the heart of autumn – at least in Canada it does, a place where the residents are always thankful that we are not in any other country. And what can be better than a custom Made-in-Canada perfect fall day? We’ve had a few of those this year, which we lucky Canucks have appreciated very much on account of the fact that this last summer sucked.
Fall is that special time of year when Mother Nature works extra hard on complicated biological processes such as photosynthesis, anaerobic respiration and nuclear fission to turn leaves many beautiful shades known scientifically as “fall colors”. This generous act of science is purely for the enjoyment of citizens who go for drives in the country or walk four legged animals on leafy paths.
And from what I remember from Mr. Mills’ science class at Lindsay Thurber High about 150 years ago, these scientific autumn processes are signaled by the ground-shaking movement of children returning to school in September and they trigger the trees to enact a massive release of something called “chloroform”. This puts the leaves to sleep so the trees can suck out all the juicy green stuff from the leaves, which to the tree tastes like those excellent green licorice shoestrings that you used to get at the Corner Store. With all the juicy spearmint-tasting green color gone, this leaves the leaves with those trademark “fall colors”.
Then, in and around the first part of October the odor molecules of turkey dinners cooking everywhere across our fine nation causes the colorful leaves to quiver with hunger, lose their grip on the branches, and get ready to fall to the ground so that we can call this season “Fall.” This happens precisely when you personally have scheduled a family photograph in the beautiful fall colors, which triggers a gale force wind that removes all the amazing, blazing colored leaves from the trees the day before, or possibly the morning of, your big photo shoot. Leaving only sad sticks for trees, and a challenging Photoshop retouching job.
Still, there’s nothing quite like the feeling of a beautiful, serene fall day with turkey dinner in the air. And the Thanksgiving smell of all those turkey dinners means only one thing. It means it’s time for another installment of The Good, the Bad, and The Ugly.
GOOD: What are the telltale signs that you’re having a
Good Thanksgiving?
• Did I mention…? Two words: turkey dinner. (This is must also be accompanied by that magic phrase: “…And all the trimmings.”)
• You have a Family Get-Together for the sole purpose of eating all day while being thankful for that special turkey stuffing that you won’t get again until Christmas.
• At the Family Get-Together you give thanks that everybody “forgot” to bring that weird jellied salad this year.
• It’s a beautiful picture postcard autumn day that you try to enjoy by looking out the window on account of you can’t possibly move from the couch after supper.
• There are 27 football games on TV.
BAD: How do you know when you’re having a Bad Thanksgiving?
• Your ‘turkey diner’ is a 7/11 burrito, shaped like a drumstick.
• You arrive at the much-anticipated Family Get-together and find out they had it yesterday. And “forgot” to tell you.
• The beautiful fall day consists of yet another gale force wind that strips the skinny grey depressed trees and sends every single remaining leaf to an adjoining province by noon.
• Three words: Called into work.
UGLY: The tell-tale signs of an Ugly Thanksgiving:
• You attend an “Old Fashioned Wild Turkey Thanksgiving Dinner” at a Country Community Centre and it turns out to be in the middle of the bush, where they give you a loaded shotgun, a package of matches, two sticks of firewood and a dinner plate.
• Mother Nature has decided to go straight from summer to winter by re-defining “Autumn” as “Heavy Snow”.
• Weekend football has been pre-empted with a new TV series called Competitive Knitting.
• The Family Get-Together is an unmitigated disaster. Two words: Uncle Fred.
So we may all experience some or all of the good, bad and the ugly this Thanksgiving weekend, but although it seems sometimes that Thanksgiving is all about the turkey dinners, the “fall colors” and Family Get-togethers, it’s really about two other things. In the midst of all the food and the chloroformed leaves and putting up with Uncle Fred, many of us forget that Thanksgiving is literal. Made up of two words: “thanks” and “giving”. That about says it all, doesn’t it?
Because most of us here in the country of choice have a lot to give, and a lot to be thankful for. Starting with the fact that we are people and not turkeys.
So let’s try to remember those meaningful and special things that make this holiday weekend so special and meaningful. Two words: pumpkin pie.