Letting go of something or someone very close to you is a tough thing.
We all become accustomed to things being a certain way, and being surrounded by the same people.
Letting go and making the “change” means a new phase of life.
Recently, my daughter moved away to attend post-secondary school.
It was a shock at first, but slowly has become a positive step of change and growth, both for her and our family.
Thinking about what it would be like when your first child left home when they were a young teenager and trying to prepare yourself for that phase of life, seemed so huge and insurmountable at the time, but when it actually happens you have had time to prepare and therefore the transition can go smoothly.
It really then becomes an issue of who is having the hard time letting go, your adolescent or you?
I was asked during this transition phase, “Do you feel you have given her everything she needs?”
When I thought about it, I felt confident as a parent that I had. Then it was time to trust she could take care of herself and let go, feeling confident she had the skills and tools necessary to function on her own.
Letting go is very freeing and allows the other person the opportunity to become completely independent of you, a real separate entity (kind of like when your child was a toddler and discovered she could be separate from you and had a mind of her own)!
I challenge you take a look at areas in your life where you are clinging to the past, or what is “comfortable” for you.
Are you terrified of change? Perhaps you need to practice letting go and detaching from a hurtful situation or a non-productive obsession or habit that is holding you back from achieving a goal.
Getting out of your comfort zone is never easy, but challenging yourself to take a good hard look at what is holding you back, sabotaging or preventing you from being truly happy is a worthwhile challenge to take.
Examine your behaviours including habits, obsessions and addictions, and explore the past to discover why you do what you do.
You may be in for a surprise! Understanding why we do the behaviours we do leads to being able to change them constructively.
Maybe you will discover an unresolved issue from the past that is causing you to cling to your loved ones to the point of stifling them from being independent of you, or perhaps an unproductive habit is taking up a huge amount of your time preventing you from accomplishing a task you set out to do.
There are many reasons we do the behaviours we do, but understanding them is the first step to changing them.
Letting go of unproductive habits and addictions in our life is all part of freeing ourselves to become the healthy, peaceful and successful person we all have the capability of being.
So when there comes a time in your life that you need to let go , whether it is a loved one moving away, an unhealthy situation you are in, or maybe a career challenge, prepare yourself for the change in advance by visualizing the good that will result, and celebrate the enormous strength you possess to move forward to the next step on your life’s journey.
Visit the Eco Wellness Fair at Bower Ponds Picnic Shelter on Sunday, June 14th from 1-4 to promote all areas of wellness in your life.
Lacombe freelance columnist Judy Holt is a wellness consultant and author of 1 Potato, 2 Potato, Couch Potato to You.