Mom thinks my boyfriend is too old

I am a 28-year-old gay man. I have two jobs, keep my own house and pay my own bills. I recently started seein

Dear Annie: I am a 28-year-old gay man.

I have two jobs, keep my own house and pay my own bills. I recently started seeing someone who makes me feel wonderful, and for once in my life, I am happy.

The problem is my mother. She has never met “Bill,” but already doesn’t like him because of our age difference. He’s 47, but is the most caring person I have ever known. He supports me in all that I do and tells me I can do anything.

I admit that I don’t care much for guys my age.

They tend to socialize in bars and drink to excess. I would rather be at home watching a movie or reading a book. How can I get through to my mother that I am happy with Bill?

You’d think she would be delighted I found someone so wonderful. – Emotionally Tattered in Texas

Dear Texas: You are 28 and no longer need your mother’s approval to date whomever you choose.

The best way for Mom to accept Bill is for her to get to know him and understand why you think he’s so wonderful. Make plans to introduce them soon. When she sees that the relationship is working out, she will come around. And if not, it’s still your decision to make.

Dear Annie: My husband and I are both in our 60s, retired and married over 35 years. I love him dearly.

For most of our married life, I often fantasized about other men during sex in order to be sufficiently aroused. Consequently, after being intimate, I came away with feelings of guilt and felt I was betraying the fundamental tenets of our marriage vows.

For the past few years, I’ve stopped fantasizing, allowing me to have a clear conscience, which feels good. But as a result, I no longer enjoy intimacy.

We continue to have sex once a week. My husband knows I’m not an eager participant, but he is grateful that I go along with this arrangement to please him.

Of course, he doesn’t know about the fantasizing, as he would be totally devastated. My husband is a considerate, caring, loving man.

He is clean and sexy and smells nice. He doesn’t look at porn.

Do other women in long-term relationships fantasize about other men? If so, how do they deal with the guilt? – Mature Citizen

Dear Mature: These kinds of things can make intimacy better and strengthen your marriage, so there is absolutely no reason to feel guilty about it.

It is perfectly normal to fantasize about other partners during sex.

Most people do. It can enhance the experience and keep the sparks lit after many years together.

As long as your fantasy life stays in your imagination, it is no threat to your marriage vows. In fact, your husband is probably doing the same thing, so you might want to reconsider.

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Not Lazy and Married to Her Son,” who thinks her mother-in-law is criticizing her housekeeping and cooking.

My mother-in-law did similar things. When she organized my closets, I thought she was nosy. When she cleaned my kitchen floor, I thought she was criticizing my housekeeping.

When she watched me peel potatoes, I assumed she thought I couldn’t cook.

Now when I visit my sons and their families, I often sit idly by and wish I could help.

I would love it if my daughters-in-law would give me projects to do. I want to feel needed and appreciated.

That mother-in-law probably has no clue what her daughter-in-law is thinking. I wish I’d had this wisdom when my mother-in-law was living. – Missing Her

Dear Missing: It may be too late for your mother-in-law, but not for you. Talk to your daughters-in-law.

Show them this letter and say you’d like to help out if they will let you.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net.

Just Posted

Red Deer church donates to Safe Harbour

It was all about helping those in need at Safe Harbour in… Continue reading

Former firefighter with PTSD sues Syncrude over suspended benefits, dismissal

CALGARY — A lawsuit filed by a former firefighter and paramedic against… Continue reading

Call for tighter bail rules after Saudi sex-crime suspect vanishes

HALIFAX — Mohammed Zuraibi Alzoabi may have hoped to quietly disappear from… Continue reading

Democrats aren’t buying Trump’s shutdown-ending ‘compromise’

WASHINGTON — In a bid to break the shutdown stalemate, President Donald… Continue reading

Updated: Red Deer welcomes 2019 Canada Winter Games Team Alberta

About 250 Alberta athletes are participating in the Games

Students seen mocking Native Americans could face expulsion

One 11-minute video of the confrontation shows the Haka dance and students loudly chanting

Curtain rising Sunday night on total lunar eclipse

CAPE CANAVERAL, Fla. — The celestial curtain will be rising soon on… Continue reading

At 30-day mark, shutdown logjam remains over border funding

WASHINGTON — Thirty days into the partial government shutdown, Democrats and Republicans… Continue reading

Holocaust victims buried after remains found in UK museum

LONDON — The remains of six unidentified Holocaust victims were buried in… Continue reading

Giuliani: ‘So what’ if Trump and Cohen discussed testimony

WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump’s lawyer Rudy Giuliani left open Sunday the… Continue reading

Photos: Rocks fly at 37th Annual Oilmen’s Bonspiel

Twenty-nine teams gathered at the Pidherney Curling Centre in Red Deer for… Continue reading

Death toll reaches 79 in Mexico fuel pipeline fire horror

TLAHUELILPAN, Mexico — People in the town where a gasoline explosion killed… Continue reading

With Trump out, Davos chief eyes fixing world architecture

DAVOS, Switzerland — The founder of the World Economic Forum says U.S.… Continue reading

Mexican pipeline explosion kills 71, leaves nightmare of ash

TLAHUELILPAN, Mexico — Gerardo Perez returned Saturday to the scorched field in… Continue reading

Most Read