Dear Annie: I have been married for two years to a “mama’s boy” and I hate it. Every time we have an argument, he calls his mother, asks her to come to our house to help and insists that I talk to her.
At first, I told him I didn’t like that he always brings his mother into our relationship problems. He obviously didn’t care because it keeps happening.
So, like an adult, I talked to my mother-in-law, who I love dearly. She is a great mother-in-law. She said she understands how I feel, but again, it keeps happening.
Every fight we have, she comes inside my house to mediate. I don’t know what to do. My husband and I are almost 30, and he acts like a child. And my mother-in-law does everything he asks. — Love and Hate
Dear Love and Hate: This dynamic between mother and child has been going on for nearly 30 years, and it will take time to change, especially when neither of them understands the problem.
It helps that your mother-in-law is “great.” Tell her very explicitly that when she comes over every time you have an argument, it undermines your marriage. Say that you love her and her son loves her, but married couples must resolve their own problems.
Make it clear that the next time your husband asks her to come over and intervene, you expect her to say “no.” Tell her you know it will be difficult for her, but you will be very appreciative. Then inform your husband if he doesn’t stop calling Mommy every time you disagree, the two of you will need to see a counsellor to save your marriage.
Dear Annie: I, too, have been at war with ladies’ jeans manufacturers. I’m 74 and live in a mountainous hunting and fishing community.
Jeans are 90 per cent of my wardrobe, but the ones that sit below the waist make me look like the Michelin Man.
Tell “Not an Old Granny” to go to the nearest farm supply store and try on men’s jeans. They have slim fit, regular fit, relaxed fit, full cut, rodeo cut, etc., in multiple brands and all lengths.
Plus, they are cheaper than most women’s jeans. — Old But Still Active
Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611.