No sex for more than three years

My wife and I have been married 16 years and have two teenage kids. When we were first married, we were regularly intimate.

Dear Annie: My wife and I have been married 16 years and have two teenage kids.

When we were first married, we were regularly intimate.

Even after the kids were born, we were able to have romantic weekends several times a year.

I am now 41, and she is 39, and the last time we had sex was more than three years ago.

I know women go through changes, but when I read in your column about women who desire sex from their husbands more than once a month, or couples in their 50s, 60s and even 70s who still enjoy a healthy sex life, I thought, “Why not us?”

My wife was never inhibited, is still beautiful and sexy, and would give any 25-year-old woman a run for her money in the looks and figure departments. I stay in shape, am well-groomed and have a decent job.

I help with the laundry, the cleaning and the kids so she can spend time with her friends or go to lunch with her sisters. I’m 99 per cent sure she isn’t having an affair.

I have tried all kinds of things to get her in the mood — exotic dinners, adventurous outings, candles in the bedroom, massages and once even sent the kids away for the weekend and spent several hundred dollars on a spa afternoon.

I often just hug and kiss her with no intention of it going any further.

The mere thought of going to counselling makes me so uncomfortable. Should I just accept the fact that the last time we made love was the last time we will ever make love? — 41 and Done

Dear Done: We hope not. Your wife is much too young for such a diminished libido.

Please talk to her and suggest she see her doctor. There could be a hormonal or other medical problem that is interfering with her sex drive. If she is unwilling to discuss it, that’s when counselling can help, and we hope you will give it a try.

Dear Annie: Over the past five years, my mother has developed a pattern of alcohol abuse. She used to drink only in the early evening, but now starts in the afternoon. She consumes five or six glasses of wine before dinner and continues until bedtime. She slurs, repeats herself over and over, and sometimes cannot recall entire conversations she had the night before.

I do not believe anything my mother tells me, because I’m never sure if it is the alcohol talking. She thinks only people who drink hard liquor have an addiction, and that she couldn’t possibly be an alcoholic because she only consumes wine.

I have encouraged her to get help and offered to go with her, but she refuses. Please help. — Concerned Daughter

Dear Concerned: You can be an alcoholic even if you only drink wine or beer. It’s a matter of quantity and how it affects you. You cannot force your mother to get help if she isn’t ready to admit she has a problem. You, however, can contact Al-Anon (al-anon.alateen.org) at 1-888-4AL-ANON (1-888-425-2666), which is for family and friends of alcoholics.

Dear Annie: This is in response to “Confused in Riverside, Calif.,” who asked about the proper way to identify yourself after saying “hello” on the phone. The simplest way to handle the problem is to avoid it entirely by answering the phone with one’s own name. Instead of saying “hello,” say “Mary Smith speaking.” That lets the caller know immediately whether or not they have a wrong number and whether they are speaking to the person they wanted. It saves a lot of follow-up questions. I have always answered the phone that way and taught all five of my children to do the same. It is a courtesy to the caller and avoids one of life’s little speed bumps. Hope this is helpful. — Herb in Roanoke

Just Posted

Forest fire smoke alert for Central Alberta

Poor air quality and reduced visibility

Ponoka liquor store robbed

One suspect charged so far

Women’s Outreach looking for school supplies for low income Central Albertans

With the back-to-school season upon us, Women’s Outreach is looking to the… Continue reading

Red Deerian spreads kindness with one card at a time

One Red Deerian wants to combat bullying by spreading kindness in the… Continue reading

Men posing as repo men attempt to steal vehicle in Red Deer County

Two men attempted to steal a utility vehicle from a Red Deer… Continue reading

WATCH: Annual Family Picnic at Central Spray and Play

Blue Grass Sod Farms Ltd. held the Annual Family Picnic at the… Continue reading

Turning on Trump doesn’t buy credibility for black Americans

WASHINGTON — For years, Omarosa Manigault Newman stood at Donald Trump’s side,… Continue reading

Senior Chinese monk accused of sexual misconduct quits post

BEIJING — One of China’s most high-profile Buddhist monks has resigned from… Continue reading

Priests molested 1,000 children in Pennsylvania, report says

HARRISBURG, Pa. — A priest raped a 7-year-old girl while he was… Continue reading

Death toll hits 39 in Italy bridge collapse; blame begins

GENOA, Italy — Italian emergency workers pulled two more bodies out of… Continue reading

Constellation Brands spending $5 billion to increase stake in Canopy Growth

SMITH FALLS, Ont. — Constellation Brands has signed a deal to invest… Continue reading

Women-owned businesses generate $68,000 less revenue than men’s: survey

TORONTO — When Dionne Laslo-Baker sought a bank loan to expand her… Continue reading

Hedley frontman Jacob Hoggard’s alleged sex offences case returns to court

TORONTO — The case of Hedley frontman Jacob Hoggard, who faces three… Continue reading

Fredericton woman recounts terrifying moments after gunshots rang out

FREDERICTON — She awoke to the crack of gunfire, the shots fired… Continue reading

Most Read


Five-day delivery plus unlimited digital access for $185 for 260 issues (must live in delivery area to qualify) Unlimited Digital Access 99 cents for the first four weeks and then only $15 per month Five-day delivery plus unlimited digital access for $15 a month