Resolutions you’ll enjoy keeping

2010! Where did the first decade of the millennium go? It flew by like feathers on an eagle. Whoosh. And now here it is, time for New Year’s resolutions all over again.

2010! Where did the first decade of the millennium go?

It flew by like feathers on an eagle. Whoosh. And now here it is, time for New Year’s resolutions all over again.

Over the years I have made all the old standbys including lose weight, exercise more and get organized. I have made some adventurous ones — run a marathon, visit Africa and learn how to eat fire. I have made green ones — reduce garbage outflow to one bag a year, plant 100 trees and raise all my own food.

I have made social ones — grow vegetables for the food bank, volunteer for a worthy cause and adopt a roadside. I’ve kept a few resolutions and failed to keep a lot. Some years I shun the whole lemming mentality and refuse to make any resolutions at all — I have discovered they’re easier to keep that way.

This year I asked several people to give me 10 resolutions they would not only love to keep but would actually enjoy keeping.

Here are just a couple dozen of the replies I received ranging from the predictable to the just a little strange.

1. Sleep in until noon at least once a week

2. Make a snowman

3. Eat dessert first

4. Dance

5. Watch a favourite movie three times in a row

6. Buy crayons and a colouring book and colour outside the lines

7. Paint one room in your house banana yellow.

8. Plant two apple trees a hammock width apart.

9. Take an entire month’s vacation, tell everyone you’re going away then just stay home and really relax!

10. Toss the weigh scale

11. Sing

12. Tame a raven and name him Maven

13. Ditch all technology except electricity and running water

14. Laugh

15. Write a book

16. Play pond hockey until you can’t feel your toes

17. Spend an entire afternoon playing computer solitaire

18. Eat or drink at least one thing per day with chocolate in it

19. Whenever the temperature falls below minus 25 degrees spend the day in bed with a good book. And at least one thing with chocolate in it.

20. Whenever the temperature climbs above 25 degrees spend the day in the shade with a good book. And at least one thing with chocolate in it.

What impressed me the most about all the lists I received was that not a single person put down swimming with dolphins or skydiving.

Skydiving has to be the craziest list item there is. Every time I see it on a “100 Things to Do before You Die” list I can’t help hoping the writer at least has enough sense to do the other 99 things first.

I mentioned this to one of the resolution senders who nodded sagely and said, “Obviously you have a deep seated fear of heights.” I told her that wasn’t the problem at all. It’s not heights I’m afraid of, it’s gravity.

There are some laws you just shouldn’t mess with and gravity is one of them. Swimming with dolphins would be pretty cool though — even if it is listed way too often — but first I would have to learn how to swim and learning to swim falls under self improvement which comes dangerously close to being a traditional resolution and, well, that just won’t do at all.

Shannon McKinnon is a humour columnist from the Peace River country. You can read more of her writing at www.shannonmckinnon.com

Just Posted

Fire investigators comb through industrial fire wreckage looking for answers

Industrial building in north Red Deer was completely gutted in Wednesday morning fire

Time for a central Albertan in cabinet, says chamber of commerce

Central Alberta had no cabinet ministers in last government

Trump Russia probe finally delivers some answers

WASHINGTON — After nearly two years of waiting, America is getting some… Continue reading

Trans Mountain Pipeline deadline extended

OTTAWA — The federal government is delaying a decision on the Trans… Continue reading

WATCH video of Innisfail resident creating the world’s biggest caricature

Watch as Innisfail resident Dean Foster creates the world’s biggest caricature of… Continue reading

CRA’s automatic benefit registrations give retirees reason to file on time

TORONTO — This is the time of year when procrastinators begin to… Continue reading

Study: Genetic test predicts middle-aged obesity risk

NEW YORK — Can a genetic test identify newborns at risk of… Continue reading

Downtown Red Deer Co-op Plaza Food store closing

Central Alberta Co-op is closing its downtown Red Deer Plaza food store… Continue reading

Earth, meet Polo: Ralph Lauren unveils plastic bottle shirt

NEW YORK — Earth, meet Polo. Polo Ralph Lauren on Thursday launched… Continue reading

Statistics Canada reports retail sales rose 0.8 per cent in February

OTTAWA — Statistics Canada says retail sales rose 0.8 per cent in… Continue reading

Inflation rises 1.9% on higher prices for fresh vegetables, mortgage costs

OTTAWA — Canada’s annual inflation was up last month as price pressures… Continue reading

Netflix adds 9.6M subscribers in 1Q as competition heats up

SAN FRANCISCO — Netflix kicked off the year with the biggest subscriber… Continue reading

Liberals find anti-Trudeau sentiment on campaign trail in Prince Edward Island

OTTAWA — When voters in Prince Edward Island go to the polls… Continue reading

Most Read