Resolutions you’ll enjoy keeping

2010! Where did the first decade of the millennium go? It flew by like feathers on an eagle. Whoosh. And now here it is, time for New Year’s resolutions all over again.

2010! Where did the first decade of the millennium go?

It flew by like feathers on an eagle. Whoosh. And now here it is, time for New Year’s resolutions all over again.

Over the years I have made all the old standbys including lose weight, exercise more and get organized. I have made some adventurous ones — run a marathon, visit Africa and learn how to eat fire. I have made green ones — reduce garbage outflow to one bag a year, plant 100 trees and raise all my own food.

I have made social ones — grow vegetables for the food bank, volunteer for a worthy cause and adopt a roadside. I’ve kept a few resolutions and failed to keep a lot. Some years I shun the whole lemming mentality and refuse to make any resolutions at all — I have discovered they’re easier to keep that way.

This year I asked several people to give me 10 resolutions they would not only love to keep but would actually enjoy keeping.

Here are just a couple dozen of the replies I received ranging from the predictable to the just a little strange.

1. Sleep in until noon at least once a week

2. Make a snowman

3. Eat dessert first

4. Dance

5. Watch a favourite movie three times in a row

6. Buy crayons and a colouring book and colour outside the lines

7. Paint one room in your house banana yellow.

8. Plant two apple trees a hammock width apart.

9. Take an entire month’s vacation, tell everyone you’re going away then just stay home and really relax!

10. Toss the weigh scale

11. Sing

12. Tame a raven and name him Maven

13. Ditch all technology except electricity and running water

14. Laugh

15. Write a book

16. Play pond hockey until you can’t feel your toes

17. Spend an entire afternoon playing computer solitaire

18. Eat or drink at least one thing per day with chocolate in it

19. Whenever the temperature falls below minus 25 degrees spend the day in bed with a good book. And at least one thing with chocolate in it.

20. Whenever the temperature climbs above 25 degrees spend the day in the shade with a good book. And at least one thing with chocolate in it.

What impressed me the most about all the lists I received was that not a single person put down swimming with dolphins or skydiving.

Skydiving has to be the craziest list item there is. Every time I see it on a “100 Things to Do before You Die” list I can’t help hoping the writer at least has enough sense to do the other 99 things first.

I mentioned this to one of the resolution senders who nodded sagely and said, “Obviously you have a deep seated fear of heights.” I told her that wasn’t the problem at all. It’s not heights I’m afraid of, it’s gravity.

There are some laws you just shouldn’t mess with and gravity is one of them. Swimming with dolphins would be pretty cool though — even if it is listed way too often — but first I would have to learn how to swim and learning to swim falls under self improvement which comes dangerously close to being a traditional resolution and, well, that just won’t do at all.

Shannon McKinnon is a humour columnist from the Peace River country. You can read more of her writing at www.shannonmckinnon.com

Just Posted

Avid Penhold climber Catlin Hannah’s death a reminder of the dangers of scrambling

Hannah never returned from his Mount Smuts attempt on Aug. 12.

Children, elderly at risk as smoke from distant fires hangs over parts of B.C.

VANCOUVER — Thick smoke blanketing British Columbia communities far from any flames… Continue reading

Trudeau: no apologies for heckler encounter, pledges to call out ‘hate speech’

OTTAWA — Hate speech and the politics of division are creating a… Continue reading

Rocky Mountain House RCMP charge woman with drug trafficking

Rocky Mountain House RCMP have charged a woman with drug trafficking after… Continue reading

WATCH: Medicine River Wildlife Centre opens new playground

The grand opening of the playground was Saturday morning

Police chiefs want new data-sharing treaty with U.S. as privacy questions linger

OTTAWA — Canada’s police chiefs are pressing the Trudeau government to sign… Continue reading

Pope on sex abuse: “We showed no care for the little ones”

VATICAN CITY — Pope Francis issued a letter to Catholics around the… Continue reading

Ottawa announces $189M to extend employment insurance for seasonal workers

ESCUMINAC, N.B. — Ottawa has announced $189 million for an employment insurance… Continue reading

Trudeau formally announces he’ll run again in next year’s election

MONTREAL — Justin Trudeau will run again in the 2019 federal election.… Continue reading

Smoke from B.C. wildfires prompts air quality advisories across Western Canada

VANCOUVER — More smoky, hazy air is expected to blanket much of… Continue reading

Anti-pipeline protesters released days before weeklong jail sentences end

MAPLE RIDGE, B.C. — Several pipeline protesters were released from a British… Continue reading

All eyes on Andrew Scheer as Conservative convention set for Halifax

OTTAWA — After a week of internal caucus squabbles, Conservative Leader Andrew… Continue reading

Trump says his White House counsel not a ‘RAT’ like Nixon’s

BRIDGEWATER, N.J. — President Donald Trump insisted Sunday that his White House… Continue reading

Most Read


Five-day delivery plus unlimited digital access for $185 for 260 issues (must live in delivery area to qualify) Unlimited Digital Access 99 cents for the first four weeks and then only $15 per month Five-day delivery plus unlimited digital access for $15 a month