The ladies of the sitcoms

Life really is all about choices.

Life really is all about choices.

I realize that the world doesn’t exactly get tilted onto a new axis with this kind of obvious cliché, but I want to run with this concept a little in today’s collection of fairly deep philosophical gold mined from many meetings of the great minds in my world.

These great moments were usually fuelled by beer and idle time, but we always left the meetings with a profound sense of accomplishment.

The subject was the great women of our time and our choices for romances of the lost weekend variety with a consensus list of these women; the simple question was a choice between two female celebrities for the hypothetical and highly dubious honour of a romantic getaway with any one of us. The situation didn’t have to make sense.

Betty Rubble and Wilma Flintstone were a good example of the lack of boundaries in the discussions, given the fact that both were just cartoon characters.

So were we, in so many ways. Betty was always a clear winner in this horse race mainly because Wilma had that weird bun thing going on with her hair and a real whiney voice that probably drove Fred straight into a severe cactus juice problem.

Ginger and Mary Anne were a hot subject of debate among our intellectual elite. We just wanted an island retreat with either one of them, an island where Gilligan had already been fed to the sharks.

One would think that Ginger would have the racer’s edge in the competition, but most guys lean heavily towards the wholesome Mary Anne in this game.

Mary Anne was a very attractive farm girl next door who was deliberately placed in the shadow of Ginger the movie star.

None of us saw Mary Anne as a second fiddle to the slightly sleazy Ginger in any legitimate comparison between the two castaways.

Perhaps the toughest choice was the debate between Jeannie and Samantha for a magical weekend. Common agreement in my circle was that they both married idiots in their respective TV shows, but a choice between the two women was extremely difficult for me and my buddies,

Personally I have to go with Samantha on this issue, but Jeannie would be an unbelievable consolation prize for any guy.

WKRP in Cincinnati was a show that featured ultra glamorous Jennifer Marlowe and understated Bailey Quarters as the two female leads in the program.

The intention of the show was an emphasis on Jennifer’s ability to make strong men weak, while Bailey was portrayed as a shy and insecure bookish type.

The problem was that Bailey Quarters was clearly a serious babe despite major efforts to conceal this obvious fact.

Most guys in my circle were at least clever enough to recognize that Bailey was a popular choice over Jennifer because Bailey was a natural non-surgically enhanced choice,

The last round of today’s debate has to be the long controversy between Laurie Partridge and Marcia Brady as choices for the male masses from the past.

A solid case was made for both, but I was always a Marcia fan. These days I would be more interested in their TV mothers.

Jim Sutherland is a freelance writer living in Red Deer.

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