Dear Annie: My girlfriend got pregnant during our senior year, so I married her to do the right thing. At first, it was great living together, even with the baby.
But now, five years later, we have two kids and she’s pregnant again. I know it takes both of us to make a baby, but she is the one responsible for birth control, and I didn’t want any more kids.
The only fun I have is playing league baseball, and once in a while, I get out with the guys. Annie, I’m only 23 and want more out of life. We both work, but after paying the bills, we don’t have a dime left.
Sex is rare. I work around hot women all the time. My wife is going to take two months off of work before the baby is born, and life at home will be miserable. With another child, she will be grumpier than ever. I feel trapped.
My friends, single and married, have a lot more fun than I do. Sometimes after a few drinks, I feel a rage inside and have to walk away to calm down. Don’t you think my wife has some responsibility to be more loving to me? I don’t even know what my question is, but I know something has to change. — Tired of It All
Dear Tired: We commend you for being responsible, but one problem with marrying young and for obligatory reasons is that you feel you’ve missed out. Your wife is equally “trapped.”
The restlessness you are experiencing can be managed if you and your wife love each other and are both willing to work on it. Talk to your clergyperson, or find low-cost counseling through community services.
Also keep in mind that as your friends get married and start families, the differences between you will be less noticeable. (And if your wife keeps getting pregnant and you don’t want any more children, you should be in charge of birth control.)
Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column.