Wife not sure who the real father is

I have been married to “Jim” for over 20 years. We love each other deeply, and I would never dream of hurting him.

Dear Annie: I have been married to “Jim” for over 20 years.

We love each other deeply, and I would never dream of hurting him. I recently had a friendly lunch with “Pete,” my oldest and dearest friend. Afterward, I realized I still have deep feelings for him. Pete and I have lunch regularly, and my attraction to him has been growing.

Jim and I are still madly in love, and we have a fantastic relationship. We are the parents of three young children, and I am now pregnant with twins.

Annie, I slept with Pete and am not sure whose babies they are. How can I solve this problem without hurting either of them? — Pregnant and Confused

Dear Pregnant: What is this? Days of Our Lives? If you love Jim and wish to stay married to him, you have to stop seeing Pete. Period.

You cannot be sleeping with both men and expect it won’t eventually destroy your family. This is not only your life you are toying with. You have a husband and children and your actions affect them, as well.

Tell Pete it’s over, get into marriage counselling with Jim, and when the twins are born, do a paternity test.

If they are Pete’s children, he deserves to know, and there should be an accurate medical history.

Dear Annie: I had to respond to your reply to “College Administrator.” It is not a college’s job to be the guardian of a student.

It is up to the parents to teach their children how to handle the increased responsibility of being away from home and getting their education. Unfortunately, in today’s world, many parents believe it is everyone’s responsibility but their own to teach their children how to manage money, how to do chores, how to have a good work ethic and how to become independent, contributing members of society.

Colleges are responsible for educating young adults, not raising them. As a parent, it is scary sending off your teen to be on his own.

But most universities require out-of-town freshmen to stay in dormitories, where there is a transition from family living to independent living, but they do not dictate what time the students wake up, eat, shower, study or go to bed. That is the student’s responsibility.

I hope “Concerned About My Son’s Future” gets her son the professional mental help he needs. It is heart wrenching to see your child in pain. However, unless the school was mentally abusing the student, I don’t believe it is responsible for his mental health. — Biloxi, Miss.

Dear Biloxi: We didn’t say the school was responsible for raising a child or making him healthy — only that parents expect school personnel to pay attention when a student is showing signs of mental illness. Here’s one more:

Dear Annie: You told “College Administrator” that “parents need to believe their child is being watched over and that serious problems will be noticed.”

That was most appropriate in light of the April 16, 2007, tragedy at Virginia Tech.

If only the red flags before that terrible incident had been checked into more thoroughly, 32 precious lives may have been spared. Our son was a student on that campus, and not a day goes by that I don’t think of those individuals.

Because of the unseasonable cold that day, my son decided not to go to lab ahead of schedule. Otherwise, he would have been parking his bike near Norris Hall about the time that horrific rampage began.

My heart goes out to those families as we all strive daily to uphold the Virginia Tech motto — Ut Prosim — “That I May Serve” — in their memory. — VT 1976 Alumnus & 1909 Mom

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611.

Just Posted

Bringing music to Red Deer for 50 years

The Red Deer Community Band Society has been bringing music to the… Continue reading

Guards injured, money stolen, during overnight blast at Edmonton bank

EDMONTON — Two security guards have been injured in an explosion that… Continue reading

Pot stores on agenda at Toronto city council after two municipalities opt out

TORONTO — Councillors in Toronto are set to debate whether to allow… Continue reading

Police believe body found near Mexican resort is missing Quebec woman

MONTREAL — Mexican authorities have found the body of a woman near… Continue reading

WATCH: CP Holiday Train rolls into Lacombe

Kelly Prescott performed for hundreds of Central Albertans

Sex assault trial for former gymnastics coach resumes in Sarnia

SARNIA, Ont. — The trial of a former high-ranking gymnastics coach accused… Continue reading

Victims of former ski coach Charest say they were ‘sacrificed’ by Alpine Canada

MONTREAL — A lawsuit filed Wednesday against Alpine Canada by three victims… Continue reading

Emily Blunt on the ‘daunting’ task of playing Mary Poppins

BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. — Emily Blunt loves a challenge, and in the… Continue reading

Tommy Chong says Canada’s weed legalization has kept ‘underground market alive’

TORONTO — Tommy Chong has a pass, man. While some Canadians who… Continue reading

Apple deepens Austin ties, expands operations east and west

AUSTIN, Texas — Apple will build a $1 billion campus in Austin,… Continue reading

Trump comments upend U.S. approach to Huawei, trade talks

WASHINGTON — The United States and China have taken pains this week… Continue reading

WATCH: CP Holiday Train rolls into Lacombe

Kelly Prescott performed for hundreds of Central Albertans

Dumba scores twice, Wild rout Canadiens 7-1

ST. PAUL, Minn. — Reeling and banged up, the Minnesota Wild were… Continue reading

Most Read