Without counselling, chances of marital failure much greater

If you were a counselor who was helping someone manage a crisis situation, your recommendations to exercise tough love could potentially kill the marriage.

Question: If you were a counselor who was helping someone manage a crisis situation, your recommendations to exercise tough love could potentially kill the marriage.

Doesn’t that make you nervous? Have you ever regretted taking a family in this direction?

Answer: Before I answer that question you need to understand how I see my situation.

My role is similar to that of a surgeon who tells a patient that he needs a coronary-artery-bypass operation.

The man sits in his doctor’s office, hearing the probabilities of success and failure.

“If you undergo this operation,” the doctor says, “research shows you’ll have a 3 percent chance of not surviving the surgery.”

Wow!

Three out of every hundred people who submit to the knife will die on the table!

Why would anyone run that risk voluntarily?

Because the chances of death are far greater without the surgery.

The “love must be tough” confrontations and ultimatums are like that.

They may result in the sudden demise of a relationship.

But without the crisis, there is a much higher probability of a lingering death.

Instead of bringing the matter to a head while there is a chance for healing, the alternative is to stand by while the marriage dies with a whimper.

I’d rather take my chances today, before further damage is done.

A blowout is better than a slow leak.

James Dobson is founder and Chairman Emeritus of the nonprofit organization Focus on the Family, Colorado Springs, Colo. 80995 (www.focusonthefamily.org).

Just Posted

Maskwacis RCMP seeking suspect in fatal hit and run

A Maskwacis man was fatally injured after being hit early Saturday morning on Hwy 611

Red Deer to get new a plan to end homelessness as the problem persists

Despite some successes there’s ‘a long way to go,’ says manager

Many Red Deer-area farmers deal with a disastrous year

Dought in the spring, snow at harvest creates bad yields, sends hay prices soaring

Photos: Part of downtown Red Deer covered in trash over the weekend

Downtown businesses deal with trash, needle debris, graffiti

Delburne man’s reckless driving led to fatal crash: Crown prosecutor

Jury began deliberating in manslaughter trial on Monday afternoon

Speaker at rally says Alberta oil ‘puts tofu on the table in Toronto!’

GRANDE PRAIRIE, Alta. — A rally in support of Alberta’s oil industry… Continue reading

Moneywise: Canadian workers unhappy with pay, want pension plans

Many working Canadians are feeling underpaid and are so worried about their… Continue reading

Brazil police say faith healer has turned himself in

RIO DE JANEIRO — A celebrity faith healer accused of sexually abusing… Continue reading

B.C. hockey coach creates ‘gear library’ to remove cost barrier of sport

VANCOUVER — Nicola Froese says she has always loved playing sports, but… Continue reading

Canada’s Kim McRae finishes seventh at luge World Cup in Lake Placid, N.Y.

LAKE PLACID, N.Y. — Canada’s Kim McRae finished in seventh place at… Continue reading

Jeff Bridges to receive Cecil B. DeMille Award at Globes

LOS ANGELES — Jeff Bridges may have once been considered as one… Continue reading

Top of mind: ‘Justice’ is Merriam-Webster’s word of the year

NEW YORK — Racial justice. Obstruction of justice. Social justice. The Justice… Continue reading

Man who demolished landmark house ordered to build replica

SAN FRANCISCO — A man who illegally demolished a San Francisco house… Continue reading

Giuliani: ‘Over my dead body’ will Mueller interview Trump

WASHINGTON — With a number of probes moving closer to the Oval… Continue reading

Most Read