I was seriously considering getting one of my own this summer, and then they brought in about 1,000 of them, so the point was kind of moot, as they like to say in the highly paid, highfalutin language of legalese.
No, I don’t really need my own standup two wheeled electric scooter when there’s one on almost every corner of our fair city these days. I got hooked on rockin’ and rollin’ up and down the streets and along the beach for many, many miles of smiles (and quite a few kilometers of kicks) during our yearly trip to Kelowna, pre-COVID, and also, I thought, at home what better way to facilitate a nice little visit to the neighborhood pub without having to walk, which, let’s face it is just another form of exercise and not nearly as fun as riding pretty much anything.
I imagined wobbling along on the scooter to the establishment, whereupon after a pleasant beverage or two in a frosty mug, I would hop back on the self-propelled scoot-board and wibble happily back home – just standing there as the world drifts effortlessly by.
Unless the wibble-wobble got too wonky and then wacky and then ended in a woeful wipeout, which wouldn’t be worth wishing for wheels whatsoever. But in K-Town I was pretty careful and safe and only a tiny bit hyper when scooting, which is generally an unusual condition for me, so I figured I’d be good to go if I ever got the chance to scoot in good ole Dead Rear. And wouldn’t you know it, that chance reared its lovely head just the other day.
The other day happened to be a birthday and the Rotten Kid, the son one, treated me to a terrific two-wheeled trip on the trails. He had researched which one of the e-scooter rental companies in town had the “best” scooter (translation: the fastest) by asking his cousin who is 18 years old and therefore has done extensive research by constantly zooming around town with his buddies comparing all the rental e-scooters.
So the RK and I SUV-ed it to McKenzie Trails where there were many rent-a-scooters sitting idling, waiting for us. We (he) signed on with our phones and linked to a couple of scooters, which he assured me was “really easy to do” though I still have trouble making my phone do anything (including being a phone) so I didn’t really believe him.
But with a thumb on the throttle, a foot on the board and a couple of pumping pushes with the other foot, away we went – gliding down the trail through the tunnel of trees, over the little bridge and onto Kerry Wood, then down the street over to the river park path all the way to underneath 49th Street bridge.
We didn’t hurry though, it was just too much fun to miss a minute by rushing. And scooting the trails here beats booting it on busy B.C. sidewalks anytime. It was quality time with a capital QT.
So of course I couldn’t let many days go by before I talked the Better Half into giving it a go, and sure enough, she caught on in no time. After a few aforementioned wibbles and wobbles we were cruising along, grinning like mules chewing on barbed wire.* (*Metaphor alert: the previous simile about looking like “mules” is in reference to only one of us, and it isn’t the BH, if you get my drift.*) (*Note: the Better Half often reads my column.)
So I highly recommend a nice, safe e-scoot along the wondrous Waskasoo Trails. Just make sure you ring your little bell and say hi when you zoom by.
Harley Hay is a Red Deer author and filmmaker. Send him a column idea at email@example.com.