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Hay’s Daze: Heard enough pot jokes yet?

So this is the week that Canada went “up in smoke”, eh? I’ve heard of the “High Arctic” but now we’ve got “High Canada”? You got the munchies yet, Canada?
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So this is the week that Canada went “up in smoke”, eh? I’ve heard of the “High Arctic” but now we’ve got “High Canada”? You got the munchies yet, Canada?

Are you, like me, getting a tad saturated with pot? Pot coverage, I mean. Media reporting on weed, jokes about Canada, everywhere you turn it’s a cannabis cacophony!

Ok, so legalization of marijuana happened on Wednesday, and as far as I can tell the country didn’t explode or anything. But while satellite weather maps show a nation covered in dense smoke, you would think aliens landed in Canada this week, what with all the frenzied obsession that doobie decriminalization has caused.

On the day of legalization, this very newspaper featured no fewer than a DOZEN articles on weed – and The Advocate is now only about five pages long! Radio stations have been playing “pot themed” songs for days. And half the people you talk are kind of staring off into space with crooked grins and saying things like, “Stay cool, man.”

And the jokes keep coming. Here’s a quote from a “news report” on The Beavertons website: “Dozens of Canadians are reportedly dead and thousands of others have been hospitalized after consuming a deadly amount of cannabis-related jokes immediately after pot became legal… ‘We have a code orange situation,’ said Ottawa General Hospital physician Dr. Lawrence Tam in a crowded emergency room. ‘Though we should call it code green. Am I right?’”

On TV, the host of “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” joked that Canada is “about to become the stoner living in America’s attic.” Kimmel also suggested Canada “must really want (Vancouver native) Seth Rogen back” and that the punishment for being caught with pot in Canada would be having a police officer say, “Hey, maybe don’t do that, eh.”

On The Late Show with Stephen Colbert a guy dressed up in the full red serge and the scout hat of an iconic RCMP Mountie pulled off a wicked Canadian accent (eh?) warning Americans not to rush the borders for “primo Canadian weed or primo sticky icky” (maple syrup) and listed the new Canadian strains of pot: Potent Poutine, Ryan Gange-ling, Mani-toke-a, Justin Tru-dope, Michael Blu-blaze, Sask-hash-ewan, Moose nugs, Gordon Light–a-joint-foot, Ganga Scotia, Drake and Bake, Celine De Bong, Degrassi Let’s Get High, Canadian Bake-On, Alex Toke-Beck, Toronto Maple Spleefs, and Marijuan-eh?

Ok, so I laughed, like, a lot. But then another hilarious video appeared on the Facebook from the Colbert show, called “Reefer Madness in Canada”. For those non-Facebook fossils, I feel it is my duty to describe some of this gem. Cue intense dramatic music and an aggressive scary narrator’s voice over images of Canadian stereotypes (lumberjacks, more Mounties, snowmobiles etc):

“It may seem tempting to get high and far out with your moose mates. Think again, America! Marijuana is a gateway to other Canadian behavior… today you’re taking a toke, tomorrow your toting a toque. Next thing you know you’re mainlining poutine, lumberjacking and slurping the amber dragon (shows a picture of maple syrup). An average guy from Illinois took a trip to Saskatchewan to visit his American girlfriend MARY JANE, now look at him! (shows a dorky Mountie singing ‘When I’m calling youuuu…)”

And back to another report from The Beavertons: “’The Queen is gonna be so mad!’ Canada reportedly whispered before eating 30 million vegetarian pizzas. At press time, Canada had gone to bed without saying goodnight to anyone and was asleep by 9:30.”

Personally, all this cannabis kafuffle is about forty years too late for me, but hey, I guess it’s never too late for really bad jokes. Or another Cheech and Chong movie?