Hay’s Daze: It’s better to fall up instead of down

It was quite a week, last week was. And I’m not even referring to the dramatic end of the Olympics or the first (hopefully annual) “Time Is Muscle” extravaganza that featured a full house of generous people who raise a whole truckload of moola and kicked off a whole bunch of push for a Catheter Lab here. (Not that kind of catheter.) No, what I mean is, last week I came about THIS close to ending up in the hospital myself. Maybe I should explain.

So a whole bunch of us were scurrying around at The Krossing restaurant early in the day last Saturday, setting up and decorating and sound-checking and – I hate to say it, but I kind of made a fool of myself. So what else is new – you may say, but really, who falls UP the stairs? Well, Yours Truly apparently, on account I’ve done it twice in that very same venue. This time, however, it was pretty epic. So I was booting it up the half dozen or so stairs to where the booths are and I was carrying an armload of stuff and speaking of boots I was wearing my favorite Keen hikers which somehow caught on the carpet. Trouble was, I knew I was going down, and going down big, and I tried really hard not to. I tried to scamper to somehow “save” the fall but ended up flailing hysterically like a kid jumping off the old 10 meter diving board at the Rec. Center, knocking some tables and a couple of chairs flying, and launching my armload of stuff straight up into the air.

I finally crashed like a metric tonne of bricks, candles and cutlery, furniture and flowers raining down on top of me, the whole unfortunate episode sounding like a herd of buffalos hurtling into a large display of tin garden sheds at Home Depot.

For a split second every body part I own (and some I didn’t know I owned) felt like it had been soundly pummeled by a hockey stick or possibly a cricket bat, but then something else took over. No, it wasn’t the survival instinct, it was red-faced mortification. As people gasped and rushed over to see if I or any of the furniture had survived, I attempted to jump up as if this explosion of ineptitude had never happened. “Nothing to see here, folks – ha, ha! I’m fine! Everything’s…” I jauntily proclaimed as I lost my balance again and fell into yet another table. At least I didn’t knock that one down.

Here’s the thing – the first person there to help me up, the person who had been right behind me when I took my highly over-dramatized cacophonous tumble was a doctor. Did I mention the event was about improving health care resources and involved a whole bunch of doctors, nurses and health people, including one of the leading cardiologists who happened to be currently asking me if I was all right?

“Is there a doctor in the house?” I chuckled sheepishly, attempting some lame humor as I am so often unfortunately wont to do in situations like this. It all turned out fine, as Dr. N. didn’t even have to operate or anything, and I managed to pretend I wasn’t limping and I’m pretty sure I kept my groaning to a minimum as we picked up all the pieces of stuff that I had catapulted.

When the dust cleared though, there was one positive. I’m glad I fell up the stairs rather than down. Because if that had’ve happened Dr. N. would have had an awful lot of work to do.

Just Posted

Improving life for people with Alzheimer’s and their families is a priority for Raitt

The federal Conservatives deputy leader is dealing with the disease in her own home

PHOTO: International Peace Day

Visitors broke bread, made crafts and trading cards at a gathering marking… Continue reading

Snowfall warning issued for Central Alberta

Environment Canada issued a snowfall warning for Central Alberta Friday afternoon. Warning… Continue reading

POLL: Most Red Deerians don’t want cell phones in the classroom

Sixty-six per cent of Advocate readers who responded to an on-line poll… Continue reading

Grassroots movement to clean up Red Deer is gaining momentum

Homeless people need more attention than shopping carts, says former councillor Cindy Jefferies

Updated: Grey Cup in Red Deer to raise funds for military families

Money raised will go to the Military Family Resource Centre and be used locally

Dustin Byfuglien scores in overtime, Jets beat Flames 4-3 in pre-season

WINNIPEG — Bryan Little tied the game late in the third and… Continue reading

Mistrial denied in Calgary murder trial over jury’s visit to hotel Denny’s

CALGARY — A Calgary judge has denied a request for a mistrial… Continue reading

Former Canadian astronaut says space shuttle is a vehicle of hope

OTTAWA — Sending messages of hope from space is a big part… Continue reading

Canada requests trade panel on uncoated groundwood paper ruling by U.S.

OTTAWA — Canada has requested a NAFTA trade panel review a U.S.… Continue reading

B.C. premier apologizes for removal of 1950s totem pole at Canada-U.S. border

SURREY, B.C. — Three First Nations in British Columbia gathered today to… Continue reading

Tail with a happy ending: Dog rescued from fighting ring, ready for police work

Dallas’s ear-to-ear grin and bright brown eyes seem to sparkle with joy.… Continue reading

Liberal leader doubles down on notion that $75 weekly grocery bill is possible

MONTREAL — One day after being ridiculed for saying it was possible… Continue reading

Jury resumes deliberating man’s guilt in Calgary mother of four’s death

CALGARY — Jurors are continuing to deliberate the guilt of a man… Continue reading

Most Read