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Latest TikTok trend is in the eye of the beholder

If a person who Tweets on Twitter is a twit, then what do you call someone who uses TikTok? And, more importantly, what the heck is TikTok?
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If a person who Tweets on Twitter is a twit, then what do you call someone who uses TikTok? And, more importantly, what the heck is TikTok?

Well, if you are of a certain age you may not know that TikTok is an app thingy you can get on your phone where you can make really short videos and share them. When I say “you” I of course don’t mean you or I on account of TikTok is populated by over 800 million kajillion energetic social networkers and all of them are about the age of your oldest dog. Heck, if a baby boomer showed up on TikTok the tween and teen world would probably combust in a snit-induced explosion of self righteous ire.

And that’s OK. I mean, parents have taken over Facebook and that automatically caused teenagers to find somewhere else to hang out in cyberspace. And apparently, TikTok is much easier and “more fun” to use than Instagram or Snapchat. Whatever those things are.

So mostly TikTok is full of talented and not-so-talented young people dancing, lip syncing or doing comedy routines for under 60 seconds over their favorite audio clips of music or movie and TV segments. I think. There must be some Fossil Detection Malware embedded in TikTok because when I went to check it out, my phone exploded in my hand.

Just kidding about that, but after hearing about it on the radio I checked out TikTok samples on YouTube and discovered a starling viral trend that has captured Tikkers (?) since the start of 2021. Is it the surprisingly unlikely sudden popularity of Sea Shanty songs? No, that’s Spotify and if you don’t know what Spotify is, ask the nearest teenager.

Is it some new dance the kids have invented that involves acting like a chicken? No, that’s the Chicken Dance and you’re only allowed to do that at weddings after several adult beverages.

So I’m sure you’ll be thrilled to hear that the latest trend touted by social media influencers on TikTok is – are you ready for this? – faking bags under your eyes.

Yes, you read that correctly. Now it’s apparently “hot” or “cool” (which somehow mean the same thing) to apply dark circles under your eyes with makeup. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking: Tell you what, young lady on TikTok, give it a few years and you won’t have to draw them on. Oh, and also? By then I betcha you’ll be busy Googling “how to get rid of eye bags.”

Ironic, isn’t it? Up until now, 99.9999 per cent of makeup users have been diligently and hopefully applying “concealer” to hide those dark circles under their eyes. But apparently this new “beauty trend” was intended as a way for certain influencers to help people embrace their “natural features” and to face and accept their “insecurities.” There are many, many instructional TikTok videos on how to use makeup with various techniques to create your very own dark eye bags. But I would think the easiest way for a teenager to get bags under her eyes is to live with a teenager. That’s how her parents got theirs.

My Better Half happens to be a makeup artist aesthetician cosmetician person and I asked her about this fashion fad of tired eye bags created by Tokkers. And she looked at me like I had three heads. And then she just laughed, no doubt assuming I was just being a dork as usual.

But we both agree that the best place for a dark blob under the eyes is on a football player. Now that is cool, and it’s not even on TikTok.

Harley Hay is a Red Deer author and filmmaker.