This familiar Hank Williams song came to mind the other day when a speaker mentioned the fact that so many folks are ever so alone. Even in a building or a room full of people, a person can still feel totally alone, in spite of many interactions such as discussions, work and other activities.
In order to explain one time why I bought what I did at the grocery store, I explained to my wife that while I was shopping, I could hear my name being called in the distance. The closer I got to the bakery section, I could hear the Bobby Vinton song; ‘Lonely, I’m so Lonely’. As I got closer to the pie section, the song intensified. Then lo and behold there on the shelf was one lonesome Saskatoon pie. In a momentous feeling of compassion, I bought that pie and the song ceased. My wife did not buy that explanation either.
A CBC National expose’ that I watched recently on the use of cell phones, emphasized the fact that connected as we are through these machines, people by and large, are more lonely than ever before in the history of man. We know more, we text more and we seem to spend endless amounts of time talking to each other on these devices but isolate ourselves more and more. And we remain increasingly lonely!
Then of course, this loneliness makes us reach out in many forms to interact with each other in efforts to ease that feeling of being alone in a crowd. We form clubs, organizations, churches and groups of many and varied interests that will keep us together and interacting in order to stave off that empty spot in our lives. That’s on a larger social level, but on the individual side, the choices become even more limited and dire. In an effort to fit in, especially the youth, they will turn to almost any activity or way of thinking just to feel assimilated. Even to the point of addiction, crime and many other negative activities.
I have long questioned the reasons that people make the choices that they do in their lifestyles. Of course, being where I am at in my work with the folks on the street, my view can become a little one sided, therefore I have to force myself to look at a situation from more than one side. Even then, I can see the same loneliness developing at all levels of our society.
If loneliness drives us to do things we normally wouldn’t do, then what drives us to become that lonely. Even in societies that proclaim social equality and inclusiveness, participants leave because they feel alone in that particular group. I believe that something we witness in a given group of people makes us feel rejected or unwanted, therefore we stop participating. It all seems to boil down to communication and interaction.
I remember a scene from the movie ‘Dr. Zhivago’, where different families would journey long distances through harsh country to spend time with each other. If it was an exceptionally hard winter, the visit would last a month or more. It just struck me that in that kind of a situation the visitors would really have to know how to communicate; if they didn’t, they could start some real battles, but they got along.
Enter the cell phones, I-pads, and all the other social devices. Conversations that would on a face to face level take many words to develop are reduced to a couple of cryptic statements, totally devoid of expression.
If each and every one of us will not make an effort to improve our verbal communication skills and interact more face to face, we had best learn all the words to that song, “I’m so Lonesome I Could Cry.”
Chris Salomons is the kitchen co-ordinator of Potter’s Hands in Red Deer.