We all have them, life’s unspoken rules. Those generally accepted unofficial societal mores that rise to the surface like the apples we used to bob for at Halloween. Things like: plant your garden on the May long weekend. Or, when a busy elevator door opens, always let the people out first before you jam yourself in there. And, if you’re male and you enter a public washroom with many urinals, if possible, always leave a buffer zone of at least one urinal between you and the next urinator.
And of course there is now a whole new litany of unspoken rules surrounding the relentless, highly annoying public use of cell phones, including talking, texting and Twittering. Like: leave that flippin’ phone in your pocket!
Of course most of these repetitive behaviors are a simply a combination of basic common sense, good manners and anachronistic tradition. Take the custom of street walking for example. That is, I mean when you are walking down the street. It’s an unspoken rule to walk on the right hand side, like if you were driving a car (in Canada). Furthermore, if you’re a person of the male gender, when strolling down the street with a female of the species you’re supposed to make sure you are on the outside of her, closest to the road. Why? Because in early days of horse carriages and rattle-trap automobiles people used to throw garbage out the window and being a gentleman meant you would get slimed instead of the lady.
It’s an unspoken rule to avoid leaving shopping carts in the middle of a parking stall at Canadian Tire or anywhere else. And always assume that your retail and/or service person is having a bad day. Because they probably are and they need you to be kinder than necessary.
Here’s a doozie that isn’t followed nearly enough, especially these days: NEVER talk about religion or politics at a friend’s party – unless you enjoy a good fist fight, a messy food fight or a subsequent much smaller group of friends at the next party.
And this is what got me thinking about unspoken rules: I saw a Christmas tree in somebody’s window last week. In October. Before Halloween! OK, so maybe they have to have Christmas early for some familial reason, and that’s all good, but I for one still believe in that unspoken rule that no Xmas trees, decorations or red and green lights should be visible to the naked eye until well after Remembrance Day. Like, maybe a month after Remembrance Day.
Hey, I like Christmas as much or more than the next guy, but back in our day when Santa was just a teenager Mom and Dad didn’t put up the tree until around December 15th on account of they bought real trees from the Boy Scouts Christmas tree lot downtown, and if you put up one of those big green babies in November, by Christmas you would have a Charlie Brown Xmas tree, which is basically a dry stick surrounded by a pile of pine needles. This isn’t very attractive - not to mention you have to have a fully cocked fire extinguisher sitting beside you on the couch whenever you plug in the stick-tree lights.
And unfortunately, the seasonal retail commercial money-motivated bombardment of Christmas up-selling gets earlier every year. They call it “Christmas Creep”. Wouldn’t it be nice to have an unspoken rule that bans Christmas Creep till, say, Christmastime?
And that includes a five million dollar fine for any store playing “Jingle Bells” in September.
Harley Hay is a writer and filmmaker in Red Deer.