Comic Steve Patterson

Moderation in all things

Comic Steve Patterson intends to send a message to all big jerks when his stage show This is Not Debatable hits Red Deer. “The show’s overall theme will be ‘Don’t be an arsehole,’ because there’s a lot of them in this world,” said Patterson, who performs at the Memorial Centre on Saturday, Sept. 27. “They seem to be making the news lately.”

Comic Steve Patterson intends to send a message to all big jerks when his stage show This is Not Debatable hits Red Deer.

“The show’s overall theme will be ‘Don’t be an arsehole,’ because there’s a lot of them in this world,” said Patterson, who performs at the Memorial Centre on Saturday, Sept. 27. “They seem to be making the news lately.”

The Toronto resident has been immersed in articles about the upcoming municipal election in that city. Controversial Rob Ford had been running for re-election against more politically-correct rivals, including Jack Layton’s widow, Olivia Chow, until he opted to step out of the mayoral race and try for a council seat instead. Now his brother Doug Ford is running for mayor.

Patterson is getting tired of all the drama and feels “there’s a lot of negative campaigning” ­­in the election — although he’s hardly been in Rob Ford’s camp, despite his tumour scare.

The comic holds Toronto’s just-out-of-rehab former mayor in contempt because “he’s taking comedians’ jobs away from them” every time he opens his mouth. “All you have to do is hold (Ford’s) picture up now and people will laugh, you don’t have to go any further.”

Politics always provide abundant material for jerk-related jokes, said Patterson — but then so does family life.

Up to now, Patterson has mostly picked on his own ill-fated childhood for kid-related comedy, but that’s changed with the birth of his two-week-old daughter.

Now Patterson can get beyond stories about his stingy Irish father (who taught him that “giving a kid the best day of his life means setting expectations very low”) and focus instead on his concerns for his little girl.

The stand-up comic, who’s best known for moderating CBC’s The Debaters show, admitted he’s already thinking ahead about how to keep his daughter away from all the little boys, “who are arseholes. …

“I have to teach her how to fend for herself against those little buggers.”

Patterson got married three years ago, on exactly the same day Prince William wed Kate Middleton. “We chose our day and then that arsehole decided to choose the same day,” he recalled.

In contrast to the very public Royal wedding, Patterson and his wife decided to skip out to the island of St. Lucia in the Caribbean to get hitched. But they still couldn’t avoid throngs of people.

“Unlike most people who go to St. Lucia to get married, we didn’t want a beach wedding,” he said, “We wanted to do it in a Catholic church.” All the local St. Lucians were so thrilled with this novelty, “they turned out to line the streets for us.”

It was very nice wedding, added Patterson, “but I’m not sure it’s legal in Canada. …”

The comedian who was chosen Best Male Comic at the 2011 and 2013 Canadian Comedy Awards may never have found his life’s calling if he hadn’t been fired from his copywriting job in advertising some 16 years ago.

He didn’t talk about what happened for many years, but now feels enough time has passed to reveal details.

A company he will only describe as “a Mickey Mouse organization” wanted to advertise the 25th anniversary of one of its roller-coasters.

Patterson dutifully made up some real advertising proposals and one in-house joke version he intended to share only with friends around the office.

Unfortunately, a prankster stuck this version in with the real proposals and, suffice it to say, representatives from the client company were not amused.

His joke copy? It stated the roller-coaster’s anniversary would give middle-aged dads another chance to ride a 25-year-old.

“There’s no real ‘funny’ in advertising,” Patterson concluded with a sigh.

Tickets to the 7:30 p.m. show are $47 from the Black Knight Ticket Centre.

lmichelin@bprda.wpengine.com

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