There are many important things that we need to teach children as they grow — but they have many natural behaviours that we shouldn’t try to change. In fact, we can learn a few things from kids!
As we get older, we tend to drop some of the eating habits that come naturally to children.
Children eat when they’re hungry, stop when they’re full, and seek to have fun while they’re doing it.
Grown-ups eat because they’re depressed or anxious, or because they’re in a group where others are eating, or simply because there’s food left on the plate.
The result, along with obesity and poor health, is that many people develop a skewed relationship with food that has very little to do with health or proper nutrition.
Here are some important lessons we can learn from observing children:
Eat when you’re hungry — From the time they are born, babies know when and how much they need to eat — and they cry to let us know too! As they grow, this important instinct can be un-learned. By the time we are adults, most of us have learned to eat for many other reasons besides hunger — mealtimes, tempting food, advertising, free food, stress, anger, boredom, reward and celebration. By recognizing the difference between needing to eat and wanting to eat, adults can re-learn when and how much to eat too.
Stop eating when you’re full — Infants turn their head away when they have had enough to eat, and toddlers will throw a plate of food on the floor when they’re done. But as adults, we clean our plates because “there are starving children” somewhere, out of obligation or just because something tastes good (even though it never tastes as good as it did at the beginning). I am not suggesting that we start throwing our plates on the floor again, but we need to remember that food is abundant in our society so there is no need to eat it all now.
Being hungry makes you grouchy — Being hungry, tired, or frustrated are sure to make a child crabby and they affect adults the same way. Become your best self-parent and take care of your needs, instead of taking it out on everyone around you.
Snacks are good — Kids naturally prefer to eat smaller meals with snacks in between whenever they get hungry. That pattern of eating keeps their metabolism stoked all day. Adults who need to fire up their metabolism should try this too.
Play with your food — Most kids love to examine, smell, and touch their food. Since eating is a total sensory experience, they get the most from every morsel. This childlike approach will help you eat less food while enjoying it more. You’ll appreciate the aroma, appearance, and flavors more if you aren’t driving, watching TV, or standing over the sink.
All foods fit — Children are born with a natural preference for sweet foods and quickly learn to enjoy fatty foods. Though parents sometimes worry about it, these “fun” foods can be part of a healthy diet. In fact, studies show that overly restrictive food rules cause children to feel guilty, ashamed and lead to rebellious eating. Sounds like the last time you weren’t “allowed” to eat something “bad” on a diet, doesn’t it? Children and adults both eat healthier when they learn to enjoy less nutritious foods in moderation without deprivation.
Be a picky eater — Kids won’t easily eat something they don’t like. Think of how much less food you’d eat if you didn’t settle for food that just tasted “so-so.”
You can learn to like new foods — Healthy eating is an acquired taste. Good nutrition is essential, so providing a variety of appealing, healthful foods will benefit the whole family. It can take up to ten exposures of a new food for children to accept it. In our house, we have a two-bite rule. Everyone tastes two bites of everything; if they still don’t like it, they don’t have to eat it — but they have to try it again the next time we have it. Since that is “The Rule,” there are no battles at the table and the kids often surprise themselves by liking something they thought they wouldn’t.
Follow the leader — Face it, kids watch and often imitate everything we do. If they observe us eating a variety of healthful foods and exercising regularly, then they will learn to take good care of their bodies. Likewise, if they don’t hear adults making comments like “I am so huge” and “She looks fat in that,” then they are less likely to suffer from poor self-esteem and a judgmental attitude.
Eating with your family is fun — Since babies and toddlers must be fed by their parents, they naturally love eating with other people. Family mealtime is your opportunity to model good habits and connect with each other. Now that my children are older, we sometimes play “High-Low” at dinner. Each member of the family takes a turn telling the others about the best and worst parts of their day. What a door opener to great conversations.
Being active is natural — The best gym in the world is the playground. Too bad most adults have learned to associate physical activity with punishment for eating. Our kids will learn to hate it too if they hear us say things like, “I was bad so I have to exercise for an extra half-hour.”
It’s boring to just sit around! — Toddlers are constantly exploring their world. Young kids love to run in the grass, play on the playground, and challenge themselves and each other to increasingly more difficult activities. Of course, as they get older, television, computers, and electronic games compete for their attention. In our family, to encourage other activities, we use “screen time” which limits how much time our children are allowed to spend on anything with a screen. Sometimes adults would benefit by limiting their screen time and exploring their world a little more.
Sleep is good — After a full day, children need a good night’s sleep to prepare for all of the adventures that tomorrow will hold. Wouldn’t we all benefit from a consistent bedtime to make sure we get our rest too?
Michelle May, M.D. is the award-winning author of Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat: How to Break Your Eat-Repent-Repeat Cycle and the founder of the Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating Program.