Husband avoiding responsibilities

I’ve been married for 18 years and have two wonderful children. I love my husband, but there are some behaviors I simply don’t understand.

Dear Annie: I’ve been married for 18 years and have two wonderful children. I love my husband, but there are some behaviors I simply don’t understand.

“Andy” works long hours, while I am home alone with our two children.

He rarely calls to check in, and I never know when he will be home.

There have been a few occasions when I discovered the next morning that he stayed at a friend’s hunting camp all night. He doesn’t feel it’s a big deal if he doesn’t call.

The other problem is when he returns home and I can tell that he has been drinking — which means he was driving under the influence. I do not understand how he can put so many people at risk.

When Andy doesn’t call, I consider it disrespectful. I have tried talking to him, screaming, nagging and the silent treatment, but nothing makes a dent.

He is a good provider and loves us, but I feel alone in this marriage. I am certainly losing respect for him. So, Annie, do I — Stay or Go?

Dear S or G: Andy is avoiding his responsibilities as a husband and father. A caring, mature, responsible spouse would call to let you know if he’s coming home late, and certainly if he planned to be away overnight.

Tell Andy his behavior is not acceptable and either he cleans up his act or you’ll be seeing a marriage counselor and a lawyer.

Dear Annie: I have been dating “Maurice” for more than a year. He has two grandsons, ages 10 and 5, who have behavioral problems.

Last summer, we took them on an all-day fishing trip, and the older boy wouldn’t stop playing with his grandfather’s fishing pole and finally broke it.

During a Christmas visit, the younger boy was batting at my ornaments, and his mother did nothing.

We thought we would take the boys one at a time, but his parents say we can only take the younger boy alone. If we want to take the older boy, we have to take both of them.

They say the younger boy wouldn’t understand being left behind. We didn’t feel comfortable taking both boys on the canoe trip we were planning, so we took neither. Of course, the older boy was disappointed.

Maurice has neck and knee problems, and these children totally wear him out. But his son and daughter-in-law make him feel guilty if he does not spend time with them. What do we do? — Trying Hard

Dear Trying: It’s a shame those parents don’t realize the strain they put on Grandpa (and the disservice they do their boys) by insisting he take both children.

Since Maurice wants to spend time with the grandchildren, suggest he do simpler things closer to home. Perhaps take them for ice cream and a movie. Or teach them about his favorite hobby — building birdhouses, painting, baseball, whatever. It’s not the activity but the time spent together that counts.

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “C.C.,” who has a sex offender working in her building. I own a property management business and certainly would find it inappropriate to hire someone with a sexual offense record.

I tell people who are looking for a rental property that if they have to register for Megan’s law, I will not rent to them.The other people in the building outweigh a sexual offender’s rights. If I were the owner or property manager of that building, I would want the tenant to share their concerns with me. — Peg

Dear Peg: Many readers feel as you do. Before casting stones, understand that not all sexual offenders are a danger to others. (Perhaps he was 18 and had sex with his 15-year-old girlfriend.) But his creepy behavior certainly merits looking into.

Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045.

Get local stories you won't find anywhere else right to your inbox.
Sign up here

Just Posted

House sales remain hot in central Alberta with first-quarter sales nearly double last year’s numbers. Photo by PAUL COWLEY/Advocate staff
Central Alberta real estate market hot in 2021

Residential sales nearly double 2020 in first quarter

Red Deer Mayor Tara Veer gave an update on Olymel's COVID-19 situation on Wednesday. (File photo by Advocate staff).
Veer addresses rising COVID-19 cases in Red Deer

Red Deer has added nearly 200 cases of active COVID-19 cases in past week

Alberta’s chief medical officer of health Dr. Deena Hinshaw and Premier Jason Kenney say the province would look at adding additional COVID-19 measures in the coming weeks if the virus continues to spread. (Photo by Government of Alberta)
Walk-in COVID-19 vaccination clinic to open in Red Deer

Alberta adds 1,345 new cases of the virus

Innisfail RCMP are investigating a single-vehicle crash that happened west of Bowden on March 21, 2021. (File photo by Advocate staff)
RCMP investigate culturally insensitive graffiti at Sylvan Lake school

Sylvan Lake RCMP is investigating a vandalism incident. On April 17 around… Continue reading

A vial of the Medicago vaccine sits on a surface. CARe Clinic, located in Red Deer, has been selected to participate in the third phase of vaccine study. (Photo courtesy www.medicago.com)
Red Deer clinical research centre participating in plant-based COVID-19 vaccine trial

A Red Deer research centre has been selected to participate in the… Continue reading

Vancouver Canucks' Tanner Pearson, right, celebrates after scoring against Toronto Maple Leafs goalie David Rittich during the third period of an NHL hockey game in Vancouver, on Tuesday, April 20, 2021. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Darryl Dyck
Pearson, Sutter each score twice as Canucks dump Leafs 6-3

Pearson, Sutter each score twice as Canucks dump Leafs 6-3

Everton's Gylfi Sigurdsson celebrates with teammates after scoring his side's second goal during the English Premier League soccer match between Everton and Tottenham Hotspur at Goodison Park in Liverpool, England, Friday, April 16, 2021. (Peter Powell/Pool via AP)
Super League collapses after the 6 English clubs withdraw

Super League collapses after the 6 English clubs withdraw

Boston Red Sox starting pitcher Eduardo Rodriguez delivers against the Toronto Blue Jays during the first inning of a baseball game Tuesday, April 20, 2021, at Fenway Park in Boston. (AP Photo/Winslow Townson)
Bogaerts’ 3-run HR, Rodriguez lift BoSox over Blue Jays 4-2

Bogaerts’ 3-run HR, Rodriguez lift BoSox over Blue Jays 4-2

Pound says Olympic qualifying issues a concern to IOC

Pound says Olympic qualifying issues a concern to IOC

Former University of Victoria rowing coach Barney Williams is photographed in the stands during the Greater Victoria Invitational at CARSA Performance Gym at the University of Victoria in Victoria, B.C., on Friday, November 29, 2019. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Chad Hipolito
Rowing Canada sanctions former head coach of B.C. varsity women’s team

Rowing Canada sanctions former head coach of B.C. varsity women’s team

Ontario Hockey League cancels 2020-21 season as COVID-19 cases surge in province

Ontario Hockey League cancels 2020-21 season as COVID-19 cases surge in province

Lionel Desmond (front row, far right) was part of the 2nd battalion, of the Royal Canadian Regiment, based at CFB Gagetown and shown in this 2007 handout photo taken in Panjwai district in between patrol base Wilson and Masum Ghar in Afghanistan. THE CANADIAN PRESS/HO-Facebook-Trev Bungay MANDATORY CREDIT
Desmond inquiry: Veterans Affairs submits internal review after initial refusal

Desmond inquiry: Veterans Affairs submits internal review after initial refusal

FILE - In this Feb. 18, 2021 file photo State representatives gather at the Capitol, in Phoenix. Two years after Arizona lawmakers repealed a law barring any instruction on HIV or AIDS that that "promotes a homosexual lifestyle," they are close to enacting a broad remake of the state's sex education laws with a particular focus on LGBTQ issues. (AP Photo/Matt York,File)
Arizona governor vetoes strict sex education legislation

Arizona governor vetoes strict sex education legislation

Most Read