Rise and shine for $1.49

Did you know that you can get your very own wake up call service without even checking into a hotel?

Did you know that you can get your very own wake up call service without even checking into a hotel?

It’s true. Wakerupper, Snoozester and Wakeupland are just three businesses who deal in getting you out of bed in the morning.

A typical one-time wake up call with five complimentary snooze intervals costs $1.49.

Or you can subscribe to monthly packages. If you hit the ground running, clean underwear in one hand, toothbrush in the other, then a bronze package will give you a daily wake up call for around $49 a year. If you tend to fall asleep afterwards, but only need one “snooze call” to get you up and sniffing for coffee, then you’ll need the silver package for $77 a year. If you’re a chronic fall-back-to-slumber-land person you will probably have to shell out $109 a year for the gold package which offers up to three “snooze calls.”

I guess the service is for those people who have yet to figure out those new fangled gadgets with a built in alarm, clock and radio. What do you call them? Oh yeah, alarm clock radios. OK, that was a tad sarcastic. I mean, who hasn’t managed to mess up setting their alarm clock radio at least once? And there is always the chance of a power outage during the night. Maybe subscribing to a wake up call service means you’re responsible, not stupid.

Can you imagine working for a wake up call service? I guess it could be a dream job or your worse nightmare depending on your personality. For the person who enjoys human misery, pulling sleepers from dreamland into their work day worlds could be extremely satisfying. Or perhaps you could look at it as doing your part to keep the world running smoothly.

For me it would be like going back to when my boys were teenagers times a thousand. I could only handle the bronze packages. I’m pretty nice the on the first wake up call; I even recall saying things like, “Rise and shine like the big golden sun!” I never understood why they found that so irritating.

I get far less sensitive on the snooze calls. “Get your lazy butt out of bed or I’m coming up there to dump water on your head” probably isn’t what the wake up service encourages their representatives to say. And here’s a thought — who wakes up the wake up call person?

The sad truth is the whole thing is computerized and you don’t get a live person waking you up at all.

However, Snoozester does give you a choice of five voices and even provides a character sketch for each one. Lisa is the girl next door. She keeps herself busy reading, studying and participating in school debates. During her 20 minutes of free time each week she entertains herself by playing sports, waking you up and helping old ladies cross the street. She does have a naughty side — apparently last week she returned her library books two days late.

Harbajan is from Piplinagar, India but now resides in the U.S.A. He enjoys cricket, tennis, Bollywood movies and, of course, waking you up every morning.

At 18 months old, Max is the youngest character but as anyone who has ever had a baby knows, infants are better than a rooster at waking you up in the morning. His favourite colour is blue and his favourite food is apple sauce.

If you choose Max you can cry together every morning.

Captain Snooze is a pirate who takes time out from swashbuckling the high seas, forcing people to walk the plank, looting and plundering to wake you up. According to Snoozester he sounds intimidating at first, but once you get to know him, he’s a nice guy, for a pirate.

If you can’t decide which one to go with, you can hit random and let every morning be a surprise.

Or if you want to hear some middle aged woman say “Rise and shine like the big golden sun” send your money to me and I would be happy to wake you up. Just don’t hit snooze.

Shannon McKinnon is a humour columnist from the Peace River country. You can visit her online at www.shannonmckinnon.com

Just Posted

Amanda Lindhout kidnapper sentenced to 15 years in prison

OTTAWA — A Somalian man found guilty in the kidnapping of Amanda… Continue reading

Police suspect fire at mosque in Alberta town was deliberately set

EDSON, Alta. — RCMP in Alberta say they’re investigating an arson at… Continue reading

Indigenous protesters in Washington declare Trans Mountain won’t be built

VANCOUVER — Cedar George-Parker remembers the moment he decided to devote his… Continue reading

In Bill Morneau’s riding, 40 per cent of children live in poverty, report says

OTTAWA — Four in every 10 children residing in Finance Minister Bill… Continue reading

Strong quake near Osaka, Japan, kills 3, knocks over walls

TOKYO — Residents in western Japan were cleaning up debris Monday evening… Continue reading

WATCH: Central Alberta High School Soccer League champs crowned

Lindsay Thurber girls’ team and Notre Dame boys’ team won Saturday at Edgar Park Field in Red Deer

Roll out the barrels: Christo artwork floats on London lake

LONDON — The ducks, geese and hardy cold-water swimmers in London’s Hyde… Continue reading

Just For Laughs production company promotes COO Bruce Hills to president

MONTREAL — The production company behind Montreal’s Just For Laughs comedy festival… Continue reading

Auto parts firm Magna plans electric vehicle joint ventures with Chinese company

AURORA, Ont. — Magna International Inc. says it will form two new… Continue reading

Collection featuring Group of Seven paintings donated to University of Lethbridge

LETHBRIDGE, Alta. — Margaret (Marmie) Perkins Hess spent a lifetime following her… Continue reading

5 dead as SUV chased by Border Patrol crashes in South Texas

BIG WELLS, Texas — At least five people were killed and several… Continue reading

Ramifications of a trade war: an expert look at the numbers for Canada

OTTAWA — A new analysis of escalating trade disputes involving the United… Continue reading

Deliberate spill: study launched to test crude and bitumen impact on lake life

KENORA, Ont. — Researchers were in northwestern Ontario over the weekend spilling… Continue reading

Most Read


Five-day delivery plus unlimited digital access for $185 for 260 issues (must live in delivery area to qualify) Unlimited Digital Access 99 cents for the first four weeks and then only $15 per month Five-day delivery plus unlimited digital access for $15 a month