Stuff That Nonrunners Say

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Some of my best friends do not know the difference between a 5K and a marathon. (It’s 37.2K.)

I still like them.

I love to run. I love to talk about running. Even more so I love to give unsolicited advice about running.

I understand that some people do not get my obsession with running. My love-hate relationship with running is the one constant in my life.

But you know what is annoying to runners? Some of the mind-bogging remarks from non-runners.

Some of it definitely leaves us shaking our heads in frustration or sheer amusement.

My favourites:

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1. How far is your marathon? or My friend just ran a 10K marathon over the weekend.

The official distance for a marathon is 42.2K. (A half-marathon is 21.1K.) The long-distance running event was in the original modern Olympics in 1896, and the distance was standardized in 1921. Its name comes from the tale of the Greek solider who ran from the Battle of Marathon to Athens many moons ago.

2. I don’t even drive that far

Clearly you need to get out more. I am banging my head on the desk now as I write this response. Get some new material folks. I have heard this one way too many times. (Please give Run, Crystal, Run! a rest too.)

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3. Don’t you get tired?

Yes. I do but that’s when the magic happens. Running helps us push through what we think is impossible and builds physical and mental strength. In most cases, I may start out “tired” and finish with tons of energy.

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4. I would run but my doctor says I can’t because X,Y,Z

Find another doctor.

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5. Did you win?

Usually I will lie. Why yes, I did win. I know the person who is asking doesn’t have a clue so why disappoint them? I run to push my limits and not necessarily to win the race. (I am winning if I ignore the voices in my head who are telling me I cannot do this.)

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6. What do you think about when you’re running?

Generally if it’s a long run, I think about how long I can hold it in before I have to dash into the bushes. Most times I am thinking about a clever one-liner for Twitter or planning my next Instagram post.

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7. You don’t run the entire distance, do you?

Road runners in marathons or shorter distances typically run every step. Unless they are following a run-walk strategy. Trail runners have no problem hiking up a steep hill. Some people walk at aid stations while they drink something or take i some nutrition. It’s all perfectly acceptable in the running world. Nobody is keeping track.

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8. I am too fat and too old to run.

Enough with the excuses. The only limits you have are the ones you set. You are not too overweight. Many new runners have success in dropping weight when they take up a regular running program. Other chubby runners simply run for fitness. Ever hear of Ed Whitlock? You are never too old.

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9. I would run but I have bad knees.

Look I am not an expert and I don’t even pretend to be one on Social Media (where it’s perfectly acceptable). Experience and experienced runners tell me the only people complaining about bad knees are non runners. Maybe you do have bad knees or maybe you just don’t want to run.

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10. You’re crazy.

Guilty. Running brings me joy and joyful people into my life. You don’t have to run. Find your own passion. But if I were you I would consider lacing up in light of the upcoming zombie apocalypse.

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Find Running with Rhyno on Facebook and @CrystalRhyno on Twitter and Instagram. Send your column ideas, photos and stories to crhyno@bprda.wpengine.com.

crhyno@bprda.wpengine.com

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