Underlying issues lead to outburst

I was making lunch when I heard Sophie yelling from the basement, “MOM—Get me some food!” I was already tired from a terrible sleep so my patience was wearing thin. I placed the burner on low and marched downstairs.

I was making lunch when I heard Sophie yelling from the basement, “MOM—Get me some food!” I was already tired from a terrible sleep so my patience was wearing thin. I placed the burner on low and marched downstairs.

“If you have something to ASK me like a polite human being then you can come upstairs and do it. Don’t you dare think you can yell orders—I’m not your maid!” I said to my daughter upon reaching her playing quarters.

“Yeah okay whatever.” She replied and dismissively went back to her game of house with Sleepy bear. In that moment I actually felt like I may have a pretty accurate sense of what the Incredible Hulk feels like when transforming into his enraged green self. I could feel the bubbling annoyance that had been residing in my gut grow into an all-out scorching hot fury.

I walked towards the kid, she was none the wiser to what was about to happen and for some sick and twisted reason that made me feel a little giddy—I wanted to see the shock on her face when I did it. I grabbed Sleepy Bear without hesitation and said, “If you want to talk to me like that, then I will be taking Sleepy Bear from you.”

Immediately I regretted thinking it would give me pleasure to see her devastation because it didn’t. As soon as her brain began to recognize what I had just done, her face did too. A shade of anguish had dropped over her and a bellow of devastation broke free from her mouth.

“You can’t do that!” She squealed reaching unsuccessfully for her bear-friend. It occurred to me for a split second how much I could possibly be scarring her right now but I held strong to my guns. She needed to learn the boundaries. This was my reasoning. This was why I walked away with my daughter’s most prized plaything under my arm and didn’t look back despite her tormented screaming.

When I got upstairs I looked at the bear. I knew how much the thing meant to her. I had no intention on actually getting rid of it, but she didn’t know that. So I took it to my bedroom and placed it on the top shelf of my closet.

My heart felt heavy. There was something about all of this that felt unjust. I wished Jamie were here to help me, but he was still in Sylvan Lake waging out his last few weeks of work. It didn’t even occur to me that my daughter may be missing her father too amidst our current battle of superiority.

“I HATE YOU LINDSAY!” She shrieked at me as she charged up the stairs. She has begun calling me by my name but only when she is really pissed off. I took away her Sleepy Bear…She was really pissed off.

“STOP SCREAMING AT ME!” I screamed at her. For a moment the thought, ‘and you wonder where she gets it from’ came to mind. “You are not the adult Sophie. You don’t get to make your own rules and you certainly aren’t allowed to treat people like this.”

She was silent. She stared hard at me for a really long time. Then crumpled unexpectedly to the kitchen floor. She was crying. I moved towards her and found that I was crying too.

“What Sophie? What?” I asked as I wrapped my arms around her. It was so unlike her, usually if she had something to say she had no problem shouting it loud and proud.

“I’m sorry but I just miss Dad.” She said. She was shaking her head as though embarrassed of what she was saying and I couldn’t understand why. Then I thought of what I had been telling my children for the last few weeks since he had left.

“Only two more weeks guys!” “No tears kids, Daddy wouldn’t want you to cry when there is only another week until we see him!” “You have to be strong because it is only a few more days.”

I have basically been telling my children that they aren’t allowed to feel sad about missing their father.

It may not excuse the way Sophie was acting but it sure does explain it. Sometimes we forget that these tiny humans we are raising have a huge bank of emotions inside of them. The same kind of emotions that we adults even have a hard time understanding and expressing. Kids are going to have bad days, just like adults. It’s only logical.

So I leaned in close to my daughter and told her that I missed him too. We sat on the kitchen floor and talked and cried and let our emotions flow freely. And it felt good.

Lindsay Brown is a mother of two and a freelance writer from Alberta.

Just Posted

Alberta energy war room must avoid online morass, preaching to choir: experts

CALGARY — Tzeporah Berman only learned of her cameo appearance at an… Continue reading

Two dead, including one who police believe was a child, in Alberta house fire

PLAMONDON, Alta. — Two people, including one who police believe was a… Continue reading

CSIS destroyed secret file on Pierre Trudeau, stunning historians

OTTAWA — Canada’s spy service destroyed a Cold War dossier on Pierre… Continue reading

Premier refuses to back down on plan to scrap 18,000 immigration applications

Quebec Premier Francois Legault is holding firm on his plan to scrap… Continue reading

Pro-pipelines rally draws crowd to City Hall

Canadian Taxpayers Federation says Canada missing out on billions in revenue

Federal cabinet decision on fate of Trans Mountain pipeline due Tuesday

OTTAWA — The Liberal government’s $4.5 billion gamble to buy the Trans… Continue reading

Skier, 22 dies after fall on Mount Haig near Castle Mountain Ski Resort

PINCHER CREEK, Alta. — RCMP from the Pincher Creek, Alta., detachment are… Continue reading

4 years in, Trump fondly recalls Trump Tower campaign launch

NEW YORK — It was the escalator ride that would change history.… Continue reading

Massive protests draw apology from Hong Kong leadership

Hong Kong citizens marched for hours Sunday in a massive protest that… Continue reading

Butterfly garden keeper manages to film large tarantula shedding exoskeleton

VICTORIA — A 20-centimetre tarantula capable of killing a bird has been… Continue reading

Telegraph-Journal wins 2018 Michener Award recognizing public-service journalism

OTTAWA — The Telegraph-Journal in New Brunswick has been named the winner… Continue reading

Victorious Raptors cancel their return to Toronto after becoming NBA champs

TORONTO — Some Raptors players returned to Toronto on Saturday night for… Continue reading

How a Montreal working-class neighbourhood’s activists changed Quebec and Canada

MONTREAL — The Pointe-St-Charles neighbourhood is isolated from the rest of Montreal… Continue reading

Most Read