Floral designer Ale Balderrama organizes a bouquet of roses for a Valentine’s Day order at Tara Florist Twelve Oaks in St. Joseph, Mich., Tuesday, Feb. 13, 2018. (Don Campbell/The Herald-Palladium via AP)

Valentine’s Day isn’t for everyone

  • Feb. 13, 2018 2:21 p.m.

Celebrating Valentine’s Day is not for everyone. Half the adult world is not in a relationship, and this holiday can be a harsh reminder to those without one. You can’t let it define you. There is no shame in being alone. And for those who choose to fly solo, it’s just a day to get through without letting the Valentine’s vibe make you feel you aren’t doing the right thing.

February 14th is celebrated as Quirky Alone Day by thousands of people around the world. You can Google it. There may even be QAD events in your city. Might as well hang out with like-minded people who won’t judge you and who want to have a good time. Besides, sitting in your room and ruminating does you no good at all. But Valentine’s Day is harder for some than others.

For a number of people without a partner, Valentine’s Day is a very difficult day to deal with. There are many who go home after work, have something to eat — it’s the biggest pizza delivery night of the year — get into bed, and turn on the television or pull up the covers over their heads. The goal is to avoid any activity that may remind them that they are alone. If you know someone who is going through this, you may want to send him or her a text. The gesture will be appreciated.

What can be even more painful is being in a relationship with someone who “forgets” about the holiday entirely. If you expect a token of love, finding that your partner chose to treat Valentine’s like any other day can be heart wrenching. It’s certainly a sign that some relationship healing needs to take place, and why not acknowledge it on Valentine’s Day? You’re both feeling things aren’t quite right, so use Cupid’s guidance to discuss your relationship in a kind and loving way. Now, that’s a Valentine’s gift.

Another way to keep this from happening in your life is to talk about your preferences before the holiday arrives. If you just rely on your expectations, you or your partner could be very disappointed. People may forgive, but they don’t forget, and you’ll have a lot of making up to do if you simply ignore Valentine’s altogether.

If you are fortunate enough to be in a truly loving relationship, there are countless ways to celebrate that we are lucky to love and be loved. Personally, I prefer making a card to buying them. Most guys don’t give cards, but these days there really is no excuse to not acknowledge your lover with a creative text or an email.

This day is really about taking the time to show your loved one how you feel. More than cards or gifts, it’s your loving actions that make it a celebration. You don’t need to go out on the town or make a stop at Tiffany’s. Just holding each other and feeling your partner’s embrace is totally life enhancing. And yes, this will hopefully lead to a romantic evening, but closeness is the most important part.

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